STARKISS

Hi Marty, I am going to make my mom proud of me, I am going to be the strong and caring person she taught me to be... Thanks for all the encouragement.. Shelley

Hi All, I am going back to my home town next Monday which is Easter Monday... I am going to my eye doctor and than my therapist wants me to walk past my old house just to see if I can do it... She wants me to say good bye and finally put house to rest so that I can live free in the house I am in right now... I will leave the old house in the past and move forward... Shelley

Boy, I thought today was going to be harder than it is.. Last Friday was extremely hard for me, I had so much inside of me racing around and I felt like I was going to burst.. I would be crying at one time, happy the next time, angry right after that.. I just felt like dying so very badly but manage to stay alive and kicking.. Shelley

Thanks Niamh, I am trying to get myself back on that bus of life but sometimes I just miss it by a few minutes and than I have to wait for the next chance.. I do believe my mom is looking down at me and saying that she wants me to happy... Shelley

Hi All, Well it is April 18th and it has been six years since I said my final good byes and what a day so far... I spend some of it at the local hospital getting tests done, some of it at the local library reading a book, so of it at the mall window shopping and the rest of it so far thinking of everything I have gone through these past six years and wondering what my mom would think of the way I lived my life without her... I did do something in her memory too and now I am at home about to watch her favorite movie on tv waiting to receive a phone call session from my therapist.. I had a really bad weekend and so Suzanne is calling me for a talk.. shelley

Hi Niamh, Thank you for your nice words, my boss now tells me that they have delayed my moving till late August so I am a little relieved but come August I might be a little nervous.. Shelley

Hi All, Just wanted you to know that I am going to be okay on the day and that I am a plan to do things that will help me get through it.. First of all I am going to get a balloon and a copy of my mom's favorite song so i can listen to it.. I am going to go to the park and listen to her favorite song and say a prayer and release the balloon.. I am than going to the local food bank and donate some food and tell them it is it the memory of my mom... I than will go see a movie and go out for dinner.. Shelley

Hi All, I still feel like I need to talk to someone but I have figured out that on my mom's death anniversary I am going to go to the nearby park and release a balloon and listen to my mom's favorite song and say a nice prayer... Shelley

Hi All, Just wanted to say that I am feeling really low right now, I am really missing my mom now and really needs someone to understand what I am feeling.. Shelley

Hi All, Well here I sit all alone again tonight and just thinking of everything I have been through lately and wondering if I am ever going to get through this grief journey... I find that the more the time goes by I am having the worst of times.. Such as I miss my mom at everything holiday and birthday.. I fear I am going to forget her voice and what she looks like... It is going to be 7 years this monday and I can hardly believe she has been gone that long.. Shelley Thanks to everyone who posted here... Shelley

Hi mfh, Thanks for the reply, I know I wish I could talk with my mom but she is gone and I am left to fend for myself.. I do not any friends and the family just does not want to talk about things... I just need to vent with someone face to face but have no one..Shelley

Hi Nicholas, I actually talk to my favorite stuffed dog named hope and it does the trick sometimes but other times I just need a human to talk too... I also talk to the family dog too.. Thanks Nicholas I really appreciate your post.. Shelley

FORGET IT I DO NOT NEED TO TALK ANYMORE.... I NEEDED TO TALK YESTERDAY AND EVERYONE GAVE ME THE BOOT SO THAT IS WHY I KEEP THINGS IN ALL THE TIME... I HAVE NO ONE TO TALK TO EXCEPT FOR MY NOTHERAPIST AND EVEN WITH HER SHE IS GETTING TIRED OF HEARING IT FROM ME... NO WORDS IN ME ANYMORE I AM ALL GRIEVED OUT....

Hi All, Have you ever got to the point that you needed to talk to someone but could not find anyone to talk too... I am in that way tonight, I have no one to talk to tonight... Sometime I just do not know why I am so unhappy but tonight it is that I am really missing my mom and it is getting so close to the day she died.. I am remembering the trip to Las Vegas and all the times we had together and it is really making me sad right now... Shelley

Hi All, When I left my home town I left all my friends behind, I have been in my new place for almost seven years and still do not have any real friends.. I have fears that people will leave me behind and so here I am, I do everything alone.. Shelley

Hi All, Well as most of you know it is coming up to the seventh year since I lost my mom, and at seven years I thought it would not hurt as much but there is still a unplesant feeling when the day comes... I get so upset and want her with me, last year I kept really busy and took just a little time to remember her and I was okay with that and I guess if this is the way it has to be than so be it.. Shelley

Hi All, I just heard from my brother who has Chelsea and he told me that her seizures are getting worst and she is not climbing the stairs anymore... I just worry so much for her and I want to see her but I am scared that I will just cry when I see her and how bad she is getting... I fear another death of someone special to me.. If I do not see her though I will never forgive myself that I left her when she really needed me...Shelley

Hi All, I have been at the job for seven months now and found out that I am being transferred to another school... I am so nervous it was so hard starting here and now I have to start fresh in another school... Keep your fingers crossed and I will let you all know how the first day goes... I am starting at the new school May 1st... Shelley

Hi RonB, Thank you for your post, I so want to keep my family name real and not give in to people who want me to be included in their families... I am proud of the name and I know people are trying to help but I am a starkey and proud to be one... I want to visit my dad's side of the family and start meeting his side of the family and get to know them all better.. Shelley

Hi Carolyn, I actually lived with my parents until they died in 2005, they both died that year four months apart.. We sold the house I month after dad's death.. Mom died in April and dad died in August and so the house sold in September which was extremely hard on me... I had to pack up the house have the yard sales and give away my parents things and it was so hard...Shelley

Hi Den, I just wanted to say that I am sorry for all the losses you have suffered and the medical condition you may have... I feel so bad for you and can not even imagine what you are going through... Seven years ago I lost my parents four months apart and I left my childhood home where I lived for over 25 years with the move I left all my friends and neighbors and also my job... I moved to a different city where I did not know anyone..I also have now realized I am was sexual abuse and emotional abuse by my father.. I have issues with depression and anxiety as well as I have diabetes too... SORRY AGAIN SHELLEY

Hi All, In two weeks I will be returning to the town I lived in for over 25 years and I can not even imagine how I am going to feel about being there... Shelley

Hi All, As April 18th is coming soon, I just want to say something again about my dear mom ROSES ARE RED VIOLETS ARE BLUE SUGAR IS SWEET AND I LOVE YOU LOVE SHELLEY

Thanks Everyone, for all your posts in this area, I have been really low lately... I have gone back on my meds and still hate having to take pills... I am coming up to the 7th anniversary of my mom's death and eventhough it has been 7 years I still miss her so very much.. I have been told at work I am going to be relocated to another school and I hate the idea of starting somewhere all over again... How sad is it now??? Shelley

Hi Carol Ann, Thanks for all the nice things you have done for me, I am twelve days away from my mom's death anniversary and I am constantly thinking of memories and wondering what it would be like to talk to her one last time to see what she thinks about how I am handling things down her... I think she would be happy with how I have done so far... Shelley