Maylissa Posted March 26, 2006 Report Share Posted March 26, 2006 This might sound kind of nit-picky, but as always, I feel how I feel, regardless, and so need to vent.I can't for the life of me figure out what this 'lesson' is supposed to be about, but it seems to be repeating itself over and over again, so there must be something to it that I need to 'fix' in myself. Maybe someone can help me figure it out?As if all the family and friend rejections over the past 2 years wasn't enough, I now am seeing the same kind of thing 'out there', never letting up on me. Here's the situation:We'd had a neighbour a few doors down from us, who'd moved away about a year ago. This woman and I had several good, earthy chats and I found I really liked her, despite her having told me that she wasn't a very sociable person as a rule. Of note, when I lost my Mom and brother and the family turned against me, she offered me some words of wisdom, plus a healthy attitude towards such treatment, as she herself had suffered the same kind of thing when both her parents died, and also later on when her only close sister died, too. So I was very sad to see her leave the neighbourhood to move into the city. We also had much in common regarding animals and we'd both always ask about our respective furkids when we'd be chatting. As well, I'd met her daughter and really hit it off with her, too, as another fellow animal-lover. Her daughter also had offered some help regarding my friend here who runs a no-kill animal shelter out of her home, when she needed some legal advice ( the daughter was articling to become a lawyer at the time ). So while we never 'did lunch' or anything, I felt a good connection to both of them, and I really appreciated this brief 'friendship' as I don't often find anyone in our town to be on the same wavelength as me. My husband plowed this woman's driveway after a bad snowstorm the last winter she was here, and she brought over some Christmas goodies in thanks. Unfortunately, when she was moving, I'd missed seeing her just before she left, so I'd actually been missing her being around for the whole year, as I never got the opportunity to get her new location.This wknd. I finally got around to reading our local paper, and shock of all shocks, I found her OBIT. in there! I have no idea what she died of, or whether it was sudden or not. There was a number listed for further info. if one wished to attend her Celebration of Life ceremony at her son's house this Sunday. So first I wrote a tribute for her surviving daughter, son and furbaby, through the funeral home's website, then called the listed number to get an address for her ceremony today. It turned out to be her daughter's cellphone, so I left a message for her to call me back with the info., saying I'd like to attend if possible. I never heard anything back, and haven't wanted to 'bother' her daughter further by calling again and making a 'pest' of myself when she's probably got so much on her mind already. However, now I won't get to attend her mother's ceremony this afternoon, to pay my respects and to offer some support to her daughter and her mom's doggie, both of whom I knew. I'm left wondering just what the heck is going on!? First, no one was interested in the least bit in helping ME through MY grief ( locally, or through blood relations )....now, when I'm more ready myself to offer empathy to someone else who also lost their mom, and a woman I personally knew...I'm STILL rejected! I just don't get it. Although I haven't any experience in memorial services ( as my Mom got zero and I couldn't attend my own brother's funeral ), it still strikes me as very odd that someone wouldn't want someone to attend such a service, especially since she ( the daughter ) knew me, too! All I know is I feel rejected by too many people, in too many aspects of life, at too many trying times, whether on the receiving or giving end. I thought that by giving back some of the same kind of help I've received here and on other boards, or through my psychologist, that this would be a GOOD thing....but it seems no one out there, locally, wants anything to do with me, OR any help I might give. I was trying to think of this as an opportunity....to grow, to reach out, to get out of my own ego....but the Universe has slammed the door shut in my face, once again. WHAT AM I DOING SO WRONG that nothing works out???!!!!! As if I wasn't puzzled enough about Life and what I'm even doing in this realm of existence.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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