Making It Through

[MaryBeth]

I feel like I have moved to a different level of this grieving process, one of some coming to terms with things, a more peaceful feeling. I do not feel like the person I was but in a transition mode of a new self.The board here has been more help then you will ever know, thank you all ! I also decided to start doing volunteer work here with the local alzheimer assoc, to give something back, in what I experienced. I remembered mom did volunteer work with the Red Cross & a local nursing home here, after my dad and her mother died. I could hear her telling me, pull yourself up by your boot straps and get going ! I also adopted a cat this last Fri from a local animal shelter and now I have a liitle companion here with me. He likes to get in my recliner in the living room, to keep an eye on my comings and goings, just like mom did, when she was in her recliner,24/7. I made it through, her birthday, easter. and mother's day, all firsts for me. Iam far from 100% yet, can still see a movie with someone passing away, and cry all over. I have also read some very good books on grieving that have helped.Thanks again to all of you, for your part in all this. Warm thoughts to all.

[MartyT]

Bless you, Mary Beth, for sharing with the rest of us the progress you are making in your own grief journey. In the words of Harold Ivan Smith, you're a veteran pilgrim on the motherloss trail, and your example gives your fellow travelers inspiration and hope. We are grateful for your presence.

Wishing you continued peace and healing,

Marty T

[LoriW]

Mary Beth, that is so wonderful that you are volunteering and that you are going through a different portion of the grief process. I too, feel the same way. I have gone through my frist Christmas, Easter, my birthday and now Mother's Day without my Mom for the first time. My grief is not as it was at the beginning of this journey. I don't cry all the time....I haven't cried today....I don't know maybe it's my kids that keep me so busy. I think of my Mom every day....my mind finds my way back to her at certain times of the day just like as if I were looking for my Mommy when I was little. But-----my grief is differnt. I miss her more than words can ever express but I choose to live...as she would want me to.

My Mom would not want me to be sad all the time. She would want me to rejoice in her life celebrate the woman and mother she was. I try and do that for my own daughters. Today, I went to my Junior Girl Scout meeting for my oldest daughter...my Mom was my Girl Scout leader and I continue on. I remember the great times and smile, don't get me wrong, I have my "moments" too but my Mom is in my spirit now, she is like an extra voice...strong and determined. I have taken her wisdom and knowledge with me when she passed. She is forever in my heart. I know exactly what you mean.

Lori

[MaryBeth]

Hello to everyone !

I thought I would touch base here and update you on my positive journey now in my grieving process of my mother. The Alzhimer assoc here was part of a health fair last weekend at a local nursing home. I attended as a volunteer at their table, my mind was off in many directions, observing the residents, thinking of mom,infact in her day, she would go to this home to visit ones who were there, I could see mom in many of them. Sunday I made a trip to a graduation party, and traveled a road, that mom and I would take, so many times together, the memories flowed, but I made it, and enjoyed my day.July I will be going to Chesapeake, Va. for 10 days to visit my son and his family, he made the Navy a career, has been in 22 yrs, and will be taking command of a mine sweeper ship, so I will be able to have time with him, just before this happens. The trip will be my first without mom, we flew many times to visit him over the years,infact mom and I shared the first time to fly together. I will miss her being with me but will be remembering all our good times together during these trips. I hope each one of you are finding your grief journey somewhat lighter as time goes by, it is an everyday process, some good, some bad. Take care, my friends. MaryBeth

[shell]

Oh, Marybeth, I am so pleased for you that you have found some peace. You are doing great, and I know how strong you are having to be to do each and every one of these things without your mom. But, of course, she will always be with you. Have a wonderful trip.

Hugs and the best of luck in all that you do,

Shell