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Peggy Sue

My Sister Died - She was my Hero, my Best Friend

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On 6/29/19, my beautiful sister died after a 4-month battle with glioblastoma (brain cancer). She was my hero, my best friend, my only sibling. She was kind, smart, non-judgmental, simply amazing. I could talk to her about anything and she listened with pure love. We lived 750 miles apart and yet it felt as though she was just around the corner. I visited as often as I could, usually 2-4 times a year, usually for at least a week. When we were together, we did all kinds of things - musicals in New York City, restaurants, walking, shopping, sitting & watching TV, visiting relatives, talking, supporting each other. My sister had a difficult life. She deserved so much better than what happened. I know that life is unfair, that sometimes the good die young. That has certainly been true in my life - my mother died at the age of 57 (sudden, after heart surgery), earlier my father died at the age of 56 (more prolonged, severe diabetes), My core family is gone now. I know that things like these happen and sometimes they happen to people that are a lot younger. I know that grief takes time. It’s been 71 days since she died. I grieved my mother very hard - she was only 15 years older than me - she was also my best friend until she died - but then I became closer to my sister. I tried to be with her as much as I could before she died. I was there after her surgery, I was there when she started her chemotherapy, I was there during her radiation, I was there when her blood counts dropped and I was there when she died. I felt her last 3 heartbeats. Then she was gone. My hero, my love. I will miss you forever. The world is so dark without you. My heart hurts. For anyone who is reading this, thank ou for listening. 

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I'm so sorry for your loss.  I also have lost my parents and my older sister.  I realize that nothing about life stays the same, but it's hard when the family dynamics changes so drastically.  I have one sister that lives about ten miles away but I can't visit her because she chain smokes in her house and I have allergies and Asthma, so am limited to phone calls.  I try to keep busy volunteering at the senior site and my church, but sometimes I wish I had family locally.   

Learning we are our own best friend, being patient and understanding of ourselves helps, but sometimes we really wish there was more than just ourselves.  

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It takes time for the heart to know what the mind can see and understand. Knowing everything there is to know about grief and loss does not shield us from the pain of it.

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That's for sure!  I've reminded myself of everything I've learned about grief and it has helped to know what to expect, but that didn't prevent my heart from breaking in two or having to go through the pain...we have to in order to process it.  And dang if it's not hard to go through.  Just keep reminding yourself that the intensity of pain will lessen as you begin to process and adjust to the changes it means for your life.  We will continue to love and miss them forever but eventually thoughts of them, instead of bringing pain to us, will bring us comfort and a smile as we remember them.

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