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Grieving at a distance


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I lost my dear 6 year old bulldog this morning and I wasn’t even there. I’m studying away from home and visit twice every 3 months. This morning I got a call from my mother saying our baby had an epileptic attack last night and was brought to the animal hospital. The vet didn’t have any solutions or possible treatments and so within a few hours he was euthanized and fell asleep in my mother’s hands. It was all so sudden, he had only shown strange symptoms a few days before and they had not been marked as serious. It’s only been half a day since I got the news but I do not see how I can get past this grief while away from home where I can’t experience his absence or talk about him to anyone.

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@Sky252  I am so sorry, it has to be terribly hard to not be home when going through this.  I hope you can talk with your mom as you're grieving.  It had to be hard for her too, to have to make the call to put him to sleep.  Are there any grief support groups where you are at?  There are ones for loss of pets.  Loss is loss, and it isn't a respecter of whether it's person or dog, it hits us hard.  Our dogs are our loving companions, our family, so the loss is great.

Maybe you can plan a memorial for him for when you get home, whether he's cremated or buried.  I've bought my pets memorial stones from personalcreations.com and have them placed where their graves are.  Shadowboxes are also a good way to commemorate them with their collar, a favorite toy, their picture.  I buried my Arlie with his favorite toy, a duck, one of his first and oddly he didn't chew it up like so many of the others, he slept with it.

Give yourself time, don't be afraid to cry.  Have you made any friends where you are that you could talk with?  That's one good thing about a grief support group, you're all going through it together so understand.

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Ugh, I'm so sad to hear about your bulldog. This sudden and distant death of your friend must be very hard. I'm new here after suddenly & unexpectedly losing my dog to heart failure. 

I had a cat previously who had to be put to sleep while I was away and I don't think I've ever really come to terms with it. I don't have too much advice, maybe my posts will help. I know people here have been helpful too.

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