Time standing still

[JimJim]

Good morning, just arriving here at work, funny strange that I go through the motions of living, but are not? time stopped for me the moment I had to make the decision of Life support, My world came crumbling down around me, and everything about my life was erased, all of our hopes and dreams of growing old together, living what time we had here on earth together, all gone in an Instant, and I am supposed to recover from this! the woman that held my life in her hands, My guide, My best friend, My Lover, My soulmate, is no longer here to help me lead the way, the one and only true love of my life is not here, and I am lost, my entire Identity wiped out, when she left. so did I, the best part of me went with her, and all I am left here is just a shell of my former self, going through the motions, but not living, all of the feelings inside of myself have gone, I feel nothing but heartache, that will never be repaired, just waiting out my time so that I may be with My Nancy again, after 25 years together she is all I know, and all I want to know, for others,friends and family they have moved on, and I don't blame them, they still have their lives and identities, but for me time stopped that day on Dec 3rd 2018, it stopped never to resume again, until we are reunited once again for all of Eternity, and how that will be glorious!!

Thank you for listening to my story, as everyone has grown tired of me telling had a so called friend tell me just the other day, that I was carrying Nancy as a crutch, so that I didn't have to apply myself to anything and that I could continue to feel sorry for myself, I won't go into details, but to say, I pray that he doesn't have to find out for himself for a long time to come, I no longer get angry at ignorance, it is an affliction just like any other disease, but that's for another discussion!! 

Everyone have a terrific day out there and all the Best Wishes, Nancy and Jim.

 

[kayc]

2 hours ago, JimJim said:

had a so called friend tell me just the other day, that I was carrying Nancy as a crutch, so that I didn't have to apply myself to anything and that I could continue to feel sorry for myself

OMG, I'd have to have a LONG break from such a "friend!"  You are sweet to say you hope he doesn't have to find out what this is like.  This is the hardest thing in the world!  There is no getting over it, just continuing as best as we can.  We don't "use our loss as a crutch."  Some people are so insensitive and inappropriate with their responses!  They are thinking of themselves, feeling uncomfortable with our grief...do they think WE like our grief any better?  Do they think we chose this?  Some act like this is contagious and they don't want around us...we remind them of our mortality...if this could happen to us, it could happen to them, that makes them uncomfortable.  

Do what is best for you...sometimes that means taking a break from unhealthy relationships.  If they can't be supportive, we don't need them around us.  I hope you'll consider a grief support group, at least you'd meet people who understand and can relate.                            

Wishing you a better day...

[Gwenivere]

I’m am absolutely appalled someone would say that verbally to you.  There probably have been people in my path that have thought that, but to say that to someone’s face?

that is pure ignorance talking, and very bad manners.  Absolutely no one can know how it feels until it happens to them.  I’m sure there are people that 'get over' it quickly.  Then I have to wonder what their relationship was like.  Marriages/engagements/love comes in many forms.  This isn’t to criticize or judge.  Some people just aren’t that closely intertwined.  But if you.are, it’s absolutely devastating.  Everything you describe are things I felt and still do after 5 years.  I know this yearning will never end until I do.