Sarina

[Sarina]

Hi. My mama passed away on 2.15.2020. My dad's 61st birthday is a few weeks away. His pain from losing mom is still very raw to him. They were together for 41 years. What should I do for my dad on his birthday? I'm at a loss...and another big day is also in April. It is their wedding anniversary. I just need some advice on how to help him through. 

[MartyT]

Hi Sarina ~ I'm so sorry to read of the death of your mama, and I so appreciate your loving concern for your dad in the wake of this devastating loss. Might you consider just telling your dad that you are aware of these upcoming dates, you're not sure what he'd like you to do for him, and you're looking to him for his input? Bear in mind that he may not know what he'd like either, since this loss happened barely one month ago and he's had little time to absorb the shock and reality of it ~ and that's okay. If he'd rather you'd do nothing special on those days, that's okay too. You can help your dad make these occasions as special or as low-key as you both decide ~ and if you need to observe these days yourself by honoring and remembering your mom in your own private way, you can do that as well.

You may find these articles helpful:

Helping a Grieving Parent

Tips for Coping with Anniversary Reactions in Grief

Grief Rituals Can Help on Valentine’s Day (or Any Special Day)

[kayc]

I am so sorry for your loss.  It's good that you recognize how hard this is for your dad and want to help him, I'm sure that will mean a lot to him in the time to come.  I was fortunate to have my daughter with me when I lost my husband.

[Sarina]

Thank you both so much! I appreciate your time very much!