I killed my newborn kitten when trying to feed her

[nancy12]

I feel so sad and stupid and I wish so bad I could go back in time. My girl gave birth 3 days ago to 3 kittens, the last one was smaller and weaker so she kept putting her far away, the little one was cold all the time and moveless, so after doing research and consulting the vet, I decided yesterday that I was gonna take care of her, I managed to warm her up using blankets and hot water bottles but I made the BIG mistake when I tried to bottle feed her, I put her on her tummy but I believe the hole of the bottle was too broad, I I think she choked with the formula, it was terrible and I couldn't stop crying, I feel like an idiot :( We buried her on our yard 

[MartyT]

I'm so sorry for your loss, Nancy, and sorry too that it took so long for you to receive a response to your post. Yours is one of three that somehow got overlooked in this particular forum, and for that I sincerely apologize.

From what you have described, it seems that this kitten was doomed from the start, as even your mother cat kept rejecting her. That is often an indicator that the kitten's mother could sense what we could not: Something in this kitten was incompatible with living, and the momma cat intiutively knew that she would not survive. Her instincts told her to reserve and preserve her life-sustaining nourishment, energy and mothering behaviors for her healthy babies.

I don't believe for a minute that you "killed" your kitten ~ but I also think it's only human that you would feel guilty. That tells me what a kind and loving pet parent you are, and that you take your responsibilities for the kitties in your care seriously. Besides, feeling guilty is not the same as being guilty. Feelings are not the same as facts. I hope you will find it in your heart to forgive yourself, and I invite you to read this article in hopes that it may help: Pet Loss: When Guilt Overshadows Grief  ❤️

[kayc]

@nancy12  I am so sorry for your loss and also am so sorry this post just now showed up, some glitch prevented yours and others from showing up sooner.  I am so sorry for all you are going through, I hope you have support around you.

I, too, don't think you killed your kitten, it's just how we feel in early grief, remember that feelings are not fact and don't make us guilty.