Dixie died at the age of 6 :-(

[Leilalala]

My poor Dixie dog died at the age of 6 because of a negligent vet. When she was spayed at 6 months old they left a swab in her. She died on the 12th of June. On the 9th I had to take her to the emergency vets as she had tremors. He wanted her back the following morning to double check her and he said he wasn’t happy about the lump he found in her stomach. I had found this previously and she had scans at a Different vets in March and they said it may cause more harm opening her up. She was in the vets weds til Friday evening when she died and had 2 operations in this time. She came around from the 2nd one and then just went to sleep. I can’t stop thinking how I never got to say goodbye to her again and she would have been so scared in the vets all alone. It’s 3 weeks tomorrow that she died and I’m still really struggling with how to come to terms with it. I met Dixie in March 2017 as I started walking her. I was having a really tough time in life and in the October her owners asked if I wanted to keep her. I do believe she came into my life to save me but now I’m broken again and I don’t know what to do without her. 

[kayc]

I am so sorry, when something happens like this and ends their life prematurely, it can really send you into a tailspin.  From what I've heard this happens more often that we'd think.  I once had a dental instrument left inside my root canal.  It caused me immense pain cutting my vacation short and cost me thousands of dollars in endodontist costs.  The dentist never made it right.  I have the toot that shows it stuck there (I ended up losing the tooth).  But this cost you your dog's life and enormous pain for you and her.

She may not have been aware of what was going on but this she knew: you were trying to help her.  I believe wholeheartedly we will be together again and I look towards that hope, I don't know how I'd get through the loss of my Arlie without that.

I send you this video in the hopes it will bring you comfort and peace.

 

[Leilalala]

Thank you. It’s just so hard to know she seemed so well and then just went within 3 days. Putting doubt in my mind that I shouldn’t have taken her to the vets in the first place. It’s all the what ifs and buts isn’t it

[MartyT]

It's always the so-called "woulda, shoulda, coulda" thoughts that drive us mad when something like this happens, my dear. It's because we'd give anything to re-write this story so we can change the ending. I'm so sorry that this happened to you and your Dixie. See Loss and The Burden of Guilt and Guilt: A Dangerous Villain  ♥️ 

[Leilalala]

Thank you. I appreciate your kind words

[kayc]

20 hours ago, MartyT said:

It's always the so-called "woulda, shoulda, coulda" thoughts that drive us mad when something like this happens, my dear. It's because we'd give anything to re-write this story so we can change the ending

So true!  I find this is very common and normal, we FEEL guilt when we aren't guilty, just normal grief reaction, we love them to the moon and back and just wish we had super powers to keep them alive and healthy.  Their lives are way too short.

You're in my thoughts and prayers, I'm so sorry, I know it's hard.

[MartyT]

59 minutes ago, kayc said:

I find this is very common and normal, we FEEL guilt when we aren't guilty, just normal grief reaction

It's why I always say that only the good people feel guilty, Kay. You don't see people who abuse or mistreat animals walking around feeling guilty. 

[Leilalala]

I just can’t stop thinking I shouldn’t have taken her to the vets but her tummy was contracting and she had tremors. I believe I did the right thing but it just hurts so much 

[kayc]

It was undoubtedly the swab that started it.  Does that mean it's wrong for people to spay/neuter?  No!  It means there are negligent vets and doctors that can be anywhere and none of us are exempt from getting one as people are not perfect...some professions demand perfection and when it is not exacted, bad results follow.  You are not guilty of anything.  You are a responsible loving pet owner that this never should have happened to, not to you or your dog.  I am so sorry.  I hope the vet was reported.

I used to work for a place that made military airplane parts, we did everything to mil-spec.  I was Office Mgr/Bkpr and I assisted Quality Control.  I kept track of all of the materials incoming and outgoing, handling purchasing, shipping, pretty much everything, including safety.  It was my favorite job ever!  It could be a lot of pressure, having to be perfect ALL of the time, but I took my job very seriously.  There was a Reader's Digest article about a plane crash (civilian) that occurred because someone did not do their job correctly with regards to purchasing and utilizing a part.  A tiny little part.  It cost lives.  I cut out that article and displayed it on my desk, next to the computer where I could always see it.  It was a reminder to me of why I do my job like I do!  Sounds like that vet needs a reminder posted where he could see it.

[Leilalala]

On 7/7/2020 at 3:21 PM, kayc said:

It was undoubtedly the swab that started it.  Does that mean it's wrong for people to spay/neuter?  No!  It means there are negligent vets and doctors that can be anywhere and none of us are exempt from getting one as people are not perfect...some professions demand perfection and when it is not exacted, bad results follow.  You are not guilty of anything.  You are a responsible loving pet owner that this never should have happened to, not to you or your dog.  I am so sorry.  I hope the vet was reported.

I used to work for a place that made military airplane parts, we did everything to mil-spec.  I was Office Mgr/Bkpr and I assisted Quality Control.  I kept track of all of the materials incoming and outgoing, handling purchasing, shipping, pretty much everything, including safety.  It was my favorite job ever!  It could be a lot of pressure, having to be perfect ALL of the time, but I took my job very seriously.  There was a Reader's Digest article about a plane crash (civilian) that occurred because someone did not do their job correctly with regards to purchasing and utilizing a part.  A tiny little part.  It cost lives.  I cut out that article and displayed it on my desk, next to the computer where I could always see it.  It was a reminder to me of why I do my job like I do!  Sounds like that vet needs a reminder posted where he could see it.

That’s crazy isn’t it. I think it’ll take a while to stop feeling the guilt. They didn’t want to report the vet so I am having to put a complaint in myself

[kayc]

I can imagine how hard it must be but I pray for strength for you to get through this and hope you have a satisfactory outcome with it...I know it doesn't bring her back but somehow demanding justice for them is important.  My own dog had had a physical not long before and I brought him in for routine teeth cleaning and they did the blood tests and found he had inoperable cancer, his liver shut down.  Why hadn't they caught it at his exam?  He had a tumor, had they examined him like they should have instead of doing a cursory glance over, they should have found and explored it!  We trust them!  They charge enough, they're the "professionals," right?!  How many times do professionals let us down?!  I've discovered how inept doctors and vets can be in their care of us.  It's become big business, get us in and out with as little effort expended as possible, charge high rates, don't care!  I used to work for a doctor, it wasn't like that way back when!  He was caring, not "big business", had his own country practice, did house calls, delivered babies, had to break news about cancer, perform surgery, help a young girl tell her parents she was pregnant, he was caring!  Times have changed. 

I hope you will read these articles, it's a lot at once, maybe one a day?  Your Dixie knows you love her.  No doubt, it's what you showed her over her lifetime.

http://media.wix.com/ugd/0dd4a5_e934e7f92d104d31bcb334d6c6d63974.pdf
http://www.pet-loss.net/guilt.shtml
http://www.griefhealing.com/article-loss-and-the-burden-of-guilt.htm
https://www.griefhealingblog.com/2019/08/pet-loss-when-guilt-overshadows-grief.html

This grief is a process...we will always love and miss them.  Until we can be together again!

[DebbieGD]

On 7/2/2020 at 1:39 PM, Leilalala said:

My poor Dixie dog died at the age of 6 because of a negligent vet. When she was spayed at 6 months old they left a swab in her. She died on the 12th of June. On the 9th I had to take her to the emergency vets as she had tremors. He wanted her back the following morning to double check her and he said he wasn’t happy about the lump he found in her stomach. I had found this previously and she had scans at a Different vets in March and they said it may cause more harm opening her up. She was in the vets weds til Friday evening when she died and had 2 operations in this time. She came around from the 2nd one and then just went to sleep. I can’t stop thinking how I never got to say goodbye to her again and she would have been so scared in the vets all alone. It’s 3 weeks tomorrow that she died and I’m still really struggling with how to come to terms with it. I met Dixie in March 2017 as I started walking her. I was having a really tough time in life and in the October her owners asked if I wanted to keep her. I do believe she came into my life to save me but now I’m broken again and I don’t know what to do without her. 

I'm so sorry for your loss, it's so hard and I don't understand how these vetenerians can be so incompetent. I know exactly what you mean when you say she came into your life to save you, and now you are broken AGAIN! It's tremendous.I have a magnet on my car that says who rescued who, I haven't the heart to take it off. She loved to ride, one day when the car was in the shop and were staying with an x friend, she looked all over for the car. I assured her its just needed work and our home will be home soon. We lived in our car, you notice I said our car for 10yrs. and we were attached to the hip my best friend, my soul mate. I'm devastated by how I let her go, but I didn't want her suffering. A vet over vaccinated her and she ended up with tumors, then she had diabetes that took her down.Im having regrets not pursuing treatment but I didn't want her to suffer anymore. Living in our car we didn't suffer sure it was rough at times but we had each other, it was like when we'd move into an apartment she would mope until we went for a ride. The car was her first home and she loved it, we were so close. I'm so lonely and it isn't the same in the car, but I can't part with it either bc it was her home it was a part of her. I miss her so much. I hope your issues are better, I don't know what they are,but I truly believe she helped you in so many ways, and that you can be thankful for. She's with you and spirit and she will continue to care for you and be beside you. I know it hurts, I'm feeling it every minute of the day. Please stay here, I need you too Leila. Lots of love ❤️I'm so sorry.....

[DebbieGD]

On 7/11/2020 at 9:20 AM, Leilalala said:

That’s crazy isn’t it. I think it’ll take a while to stop feeling the guilt. They didn’t want to report the vet so I am having to put a complaint in myself

Yes put the report in go after him with all you got, do the best you can do, I know it's difficult but otherwise there will be other animals that are at risk.

[DebbieGD]

On 7/4/2020 at 9:28 AM, MartyT said:

It's why I always say that only the good people feel guilty, Kay. You don't see people who abuse or mistreat animals walking around feeling guilty. 

Well said Marty....

[Leilalala]

21 hours ago, DebbieGD said:

I'm so sorry for your loss, it's so hard and I don't understand how these vetenerians can be so incompetent. I know exactly what you mean when you say she came into your life to save you, and now you are broken AGAIN! It's tremendous.I have a magnet on my car that says who rescued who, I haven't the heart to take it off. She loved to ride, one day when the car was in the shop and were staying with an x friend, she looked all over for the car. I assured her its just needed work and our home will be home soon. We lived in our car, you notice I said our car for 10yrs. and we were attached to the hip my best friend, my soul mate. I'm devastated by how I let her go, but I didn't want her suffering. A vet over vaccinated her and she ended up with tumors, then she had diabetes that took her down.Im having regrets not pursuing treatment but I didn't want her to suffer anymore. Living in our car we didn't suffer sure it was rough at times but we had each other, it was like when we'd move into an apartment she would mope until we went for a ride. The car was her first home and she loved it, we were so close. I'm so lonely and it isn't the same in the car, but I can't part with it either bc it was her home it was a part of her. I miss her so much. I hope your issues are better, I don't know what they are,but I truly believe she helped you in so many ways, and that you can be thankful for. She's with you and spirit and she will continue to care for you and be beside you. I know it hurts, I'm feeling it every minute of the day. Please stay here, I need you too Leila. Lots of love ❤️I'm so sorry.....

It’s just so unfair isn’t it. They don’t deserve to suffer but it’s as if vets don’t actually care. I know most do but when you get ones that make mistakes it just doesn’t seem fair 

[kayc]

The vet I used for euthanasia did my sweet Arlie and myself a huge disservice because their scale was way off, resulting in their under anesthetizing him, and when they gave the fatal shot, it caused him huge distress/pain, and that is my final memory of him.  It is so hard to live with because I only wanted to ease his suffering peacefully, not what happened!  I feel his previous vet contributed to his ultimate outcome because they failed to catch his cancer even though he got regular physicals there. 

Yes, so very unfair, and very hard to live with.

[DebbieGD]

6 hours ago, kayc said:

The vet I used for euthanasia did my sweet Arlie and myself a huge disservice because their scale was way off, resulting in their under anesthetizing him, and when they gave the fatal shot, it caused him huge distress/pain, and that is my final memory of him.  It is so hard to live with because I only wanted to ease his suffering peacefully, not what happened!  I feel his previous vet contributed to his ultimate outcome because they failed to catch his cancer even though he got regular physicals there. 

Yes, so very unfair, and very hard to live with.

Very hard to accept it is how vets can be so cruel and dishonest! I have found they are very dishonest. They are gougers, they could have found her diabetes years ago if theyed had done a simple panel and not wanting boo coo bucks for unnecessary blood work, that I knew was unnecessary, but failed to tell me of a reasonable panel. At the end I found out, I grabbed the boocoo bucks paper and ask what's this , on one line it was a simple blood panel ,they could have done, I said what's this!, do it, by then it was too late.it sickens me.they are gougers. They think it's just an animal and you can get another one, they for the most part are heartless and un sympathetic. I'm so sorry kayc, I know what you are feeling and we dont do anything but blame ourselves,so unfair, bc it's all we feel we can do bc our heart is broken bc we didn't save them, when vets are suppose to be more specialized in such matters, Such matters of the heart they could give a rats a**. 

[kayc]

I know.  Have you read James Herriot's books ("All Creatures Great and Small" etc)?  True stories, a wonderful country vet.  Don't make them like they used to.  We used to have a vet like that, he retired, the business went to VCA, a big conglomerate.  Miss him.  He was caring, wonderful and tried to keep the prices low.  Not that way anymore. 

[DebbieGD]

6 hours ago, kayc said:

I know.  Have you read James Herriot's books ("All Creatures Great and Small" etc)?  True stories, a wonderful country vet.  Don't make them like they used to.  We used to have a vet like that, he retired, the business went to VCA, a big conglomerate.  Miss him.  He was caring, wonderful and tried to keep the prices low.  Not that way anymore. 

No they aren't like that anymore, it's really sad. 

[Leilalala]

On 7/13/2020 at 7:06 PM, kayc said:

The vet I used for euthanasia did my sweet Arlie and myself a huge disservice because their scale was way off, resulting in their under anesthetizing him, and when they gave the fatal shot, it caused him huge distress/pain, and that is my final memory of him.  It is so hard to live with because I only wanted to ease his suffering peacefully, not what happened!  I feel his previous vet contributed to his ultimate outcome because they failed to catch his cancer even though he got regular physicals there. 

Yes, so very unfair, and very hard to live with.

It just seems so unfair doesn’t it that people have to suffer because of incompetent vets 

[kayc]

And even more so, that our pets suffer.  It killed me, seeing him go out like that, my last memory of him.  I love him more than anything in the world.