Lost my mom 2 1/2 weeks ago

[Sara7]

Hello.

My name is Sara. I lost my mother to a brain hemorrhage almost 3 weeks ago. I'm a little bit scared to open up... I have been looking for a support kind of thing online for a few days and usually no one replies and I end up deleting my account. But I keep trying.

My mother was amazing. The family is divided without her and I'm using all of my energy in trying to stay strong for my daughter. I'm a single mom. Got her when I was 19 and the father was not in the picture. My mother was everything to us. If I allow myself to truly grasp the extent of my loss I will break down. I hope I can come here and be open and honest about how I feel. Because it is difficult. Around my family I am careful because I don't want to upset them or trigger them. With my friends - who are very supportive - it's still not my true emotions and thoughts, because they would not know what to say. There is nothing they can say or do. So I put on an act around then. The feelings are too intense. It would not be fair to them. So I hope this is a safe place ❤

Thanks for listening.

Sara

[MartyT]

Dear Sara, I assure you that here you will be welcomed with open arms and caring hearts. Please accept our deepest sympathy and heartfelt condolences for the loss of your beloved mother. Remember this: No one really dies who is remembered with love. The love you have for your mother will be with you as long as you live and as long as you hold her in your heart ~ and when you think of your mother, may love be what you remember most. ♥️

[Sara7]

Thank you very much 🙏❤

[kayc]

Sara,

I am so sorry you haven't had any response to your previous attempts on forums...I'm on here every morning and check new posts.  I am so sorry for your loss of your mom, it makes it all the harder knowing you are losing your child's grandma.  I like what Marty said here:

11 hours ago, MartyT said:

No one really dies who is remembered with love.

https://www.griefhealingblog.com/2013/02/parent-loss-continuing-their-song.html

https://www.griefhealingblog.com/2013/09/mother-loss-list-of-suggested-resources.html

 

[Sara7]

Thank you, Kayc ❤

I think I didn't know where to look and just tried whatever I could find. But even just reading what others say, knowing that we are many connected by the grief we are experiencing, helps me. I get choked up and teary eyed everytime I come on here, but I think it is needed. I am not good at doing that on my own. Here, it feels safe and okay. I'm not bothering anyone because somehow by grieving ourselves, we can help carry other people's grief. I don't feel so alone. I feel better about revealing all the layers of my grief slowly, and just feel it until it doesn't hurt so much anymore.

[MartyT]

Continue just the way you are, Sara, and follow your own best instincts. From what you've described, I think you're doing just fine. That is not to say that this is easy or in any way enjoyable. Grief is hard and it hurts.

But yes, you ARE safe here, and you most certainly are not "bothering" anyone. We're all in the same big boat, and you are one of us now ♥️

[kayc]

You sound like you are handling this the best you can, in your way and time.  I hope this article might answer some questions for you as well.

http://www.griefhealingblog.com/2014/08/grief-understanding-process.html