I lost my 3 year-old nephew last Saturday

[Bariana]

 I cannot help but think why, it doesn't feel right,  it is not right when younger kids like my nephew passed on such a young age. He just turned 3 last December, he was such an energetic boy. He loved trucks, he loved cars, and could always make anything into play things. That baby boy was bright, he was polite, and understood quickly when we asked him to do something. He's a lovely boy. 

On late December, he had diarrhea but we all thought it's just a common infection. When it's still going on after a few days, his parents decided to check. Such a shock news, his white blood cells was way too high. They say he had leukimia, and so he was admitted to the hospital. That was a week ago, they put him in the icu right away. My brother cried, and he never cried. My little nephew, in an icu with needle in his vein. But nevertheless, he was still excited to play on his bed, his spirit was always amazed me. 

It lasted only a week. His condition gradually got worse and on last Saturday night, he passed with his parents by his side. I can't help but to think why? Why this boy? Why my beautiful nephew, who had the cutest giggle, smart and bright eyes, had to be first to go? 

His parents, i wish I could do something for them. My brother and his wife are doing whatever they can to survive this. It feels like I'm waking up to a nightmare. I still can't believe that little boy is not around anymore. 

[MartyT]

I'm so sorry to learn of the death of your precious nephew, my dear. A loss like this is beyond our understanding. So sad. So unfair. I'm sure that it does feel like a nightmare ~ if it weren't for the fact that it is happening. Please know that we are thinking of you and your brother and the rest of your family as you find your way through this challenging time.

I invite you to read the following, in hopes that their content speaks to you in a helpful way: 

Mourning A Sister's Only Child: "Where Do I Fit In?"

Disenfranchised Grief: Another Bereaved Aunt Asks "Where Do I Fit In?" 

[kayc]

I am so sorry.  I do understand as I lost my three year old nephew 53 years ago in the same accident that damaged both of my sisters' brains and left them in comas, one became quadriplegic and ended up with severely damaged vocal chords, the other has had balance problems all her life and falls.  Jimmy was his name, he had blond hair and blue eyes and was so adorable.  His 4 month old brother was thrown from the vehicle amid broken glass & got a tiny cut on the forehead, that's all...Jimmy's spleen ruptured.

Your little nephew sounds wonderful, like he was going to make the best of things!  It especially endears you to him!  No answers to "why,"  things happen in life that send us reeling and we cannot understand them because they make no earthly sense whatsoever.  

I'm glad you can come here and express yourself, it help us process our grief to get it out.  (Good articles, Marty!) 

Although you and your brother/SIL are grieving the same little person, your grief is unique to each of you.  The best thing I can think of is to sit with them, listen to them, be there for them.  We can try to help in tangible ways like bringing them a meal, but nothing alleviates the grief no matter how much we wish to, and you are grieving yourself, esp. a little child, very hard!  My heart goes out to you all in your loss.  He will never be forgotten.  My younger sister also lost her baby daughter, born w/o a brain, she was just under two years old.  She had such a sweet spirit and will never be forgotten.

http://www.griefhealingblog.com/2014/08/grief-understanding-process.html

[Bariana]

Dear Marty and Kay, thank you so much for your support. It's true, these past few days I've been thinking if i can fit in somewhere, all I can think about is how should i support my brother and his wife. But apart from that, I'm sad and angry. I still can't believe he's gone. 

[kayc]

Here's another article that might be of help:
http://www.griefhealing.com/column-helping-another-in-grief.htm

Your feelings are totally "normal" in grief.