He lost his father infront of his eyes in pain , and everything crumbled.

[Seiryu]

@kayc @MartyT

I'll go through the article after the exam today. Thanks for your suggestions. I'm kinda tired , have a lot of body issues so exercising has made me go worse before thats why i used to try mild ones, but all of this is just like taking care of myself so much , so much efforts only to talk care of myself when I've never been okay with myself. I was starting to be okay but now all of this and who knows now. Regardless I'll see what to do I guess ,  thank you both for the opinions :') 

[Seiryu]

Hey everyone , 

How are you all ,

I'll try to be short lol , we talked a little for the first time yesterday in eight-nine days and he regrets everything he did during the immediate situation , and asked me if I wanted to try again , he was hesitant a little because things aren't as simple anymore also , its not just about our feelings but how to make it work and if he was willing to take up my parents for confrontation too , a little sooner than what he thought of way before . I told him things I thought we would be needed to deal with if we did it again. And told him to take a few days to think again if he honestly is willing to try and knows that this ( loss of family/friends) will happen again , with me too and with him too , and that he needs to understand that we go through it together and not apart. Idk I think I said enough for him to think more on it. 

Apart from that , for the first time in so long I felt like things didnt suck that much , Almost as if I talked to him for the first time in three months as myself without thinking what could be wrong or right. That relief or idk how to sum that feeling up but it was better , better than the entire two months till now. 

Also for some reason I'm a little hesitant as well , there are things to think about since my parents are involved and dont know how they'll react since we are in a country where people aren't very upto relationships and also that his conditions remain that he cannot come to meet me for a long while since his mother isnt well , so I'll need to ask my father to go meet him , thats all I can think of if I have to make it work . But yeah this is all the update for now. 

[kayc]

Albert Einstein is widely credited with saying, “The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again, but expecting different results.” 

So true!  So while part of me wants to congratulate you and wish you well going forward, another part of me feels hesitation.  You have a lot to think about.  Not wanting to be a naysayer, but not exactly with rose-colored glasses on either.  I DO wish you well.  May God give you wisdom...

[Seiryu]

@kayc

Thank you, I think I understand that as well. No matter how much I'm into it , I didnt just jumped on the first go. My first go was hesitation because yes it is a lot.