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I just feel so lost. The best friend I ever had died in September 2020. We were friends for 40 years, had been intimate when we were younger. She laid down for a nap and never woke up. I saw a therapist, thought I was doing so well then the anniversary of her came around and I just fell apart again. I just don’t know what to do, how to get past this. I loved her, I can’t figure out how to live now. 


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I'm so sorry for your loss, my friend. These death-day anniversaries really can pack a whallop, and it can seem as if we're right back where we started on this grief journey, as if we've made no progress at all. The loss feels as fresh as it did at the beginning, and it feels as if we must start the grief process all over again. This may be a good time to reconnect with the therapist you saw when this first happened. Sometimes all it takes to get back on track is some reassurance that the progress you've already made is real.

Your story brings to mind a number of writings that I hope you will find helpful. Although the individual circumstances in these stories may differ a bit from your own, I think you'll find some useful similarities here ~ and note the additional resources listed at the base of each:

In Grief: Mourning A Lost Love

Death of A Friend: A Disenfranchised Grief

In Grief: Death of A Possibility

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These articles have helped me to understand that while we don't have them here to hold physically, they still are and we learn to connect with them in different ways.  I am sorry for your loss. :wub:

Continuing Relationships
Continuing beyond physical death
Continuing Bonds - rituals
Continuing Bonds - WYG

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