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We don't belong here. We were put there.


Ztyu123

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I do not belong here. I was put here.


Everyday is terrible 
Everyday I cry
Every night i weep
Endlessly. 
Pstd random flashbacks.
Sleeping most of the time.
Avoiding society the best and as often as possible still not careful enough..
I get caught.
They ask of you, not about you.
They hear it.
They see it.
The croak
The shakiness 
The raspiness 
The heart racing
The heart dropping 
 They pretend to care
They don't stay
They dont witness the further breakdown and breach of sanity when behind closed doors.
They dont witness tears trying to turn into blood


Everyday and night i wish upon everything that I've been left with
(The guilt, the anger, the desperation,  the hurt, the pain, the tears, the remorse, the silence,  the loneliness,  my bleeding heart) 
To the Universe 
For it to spare a little ..give a little
For it to allow me to genuinely know that you're happy,  healthy,  loved, cared for, and okay now...
Wherever
Whenever
You are now.

It gives nothing but torture.
Maybe I'm undeserving...
Maybe I didn't love you enough 
Maybe I'm the monster and it's protecting you. 


After all...I've  been left in this cruel state of existence and in this world.
Still waiting on that invitation to join you.

Weather is changing.
Winter is being ambushed, strangled, held hostage.. it still. hangs in an unequivocal balance.
Still fighting.
 
I'd rather it'd be Winter all of the time.

Everything fighting and clinging onto survival and each other. Accepting it's fate to be still as possible hoping not to break. Its existence. Everything beautifully still. Everything questioning it's  survival. Unsure of its revival 


It's  almost summer. 


I strongly on the verge of hate
Thriving


 

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Don't let hate change who you are, I try not to let external forces (people/circumstance) have the power to change who I am. :wub:

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