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Tuck Tuck (Tucker)

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We're at a loss. He was only 3 and on October 6th, 2023 our baby boy was gone when we got home. We opened the door and didn't hear his collar. Earlier in the day I didn't hear his collar but found him upstairs in our bedroom stretching and yawning as he greeted me. So I told me wife he is most likely in the room again and on the bed. She went upstairs with the leash in her hand and said "the door is closed though."  Immediately after I hear a scream of pain and agony. I ran upstairs and immediately attempted chest compressions but Tucker's tongue was already purple. I said bye to all of my staff that day as I was transitioning into a different position and my wife had a very difficult 2 weeks of work. So we were only gone for dinner. After dinner we went to Five Below to pick up decorations and a new toy for Tucker. He was only 3. We had so much more time that we were unable to have. The guilt, the shame, the horror of him being alone on his last breaths. He got into the kitchen and found a popcorn bag which ended up suffocating him. We're both therapists and we had always taken care of the bags before. He is so strong and normally only chews on cardboard. The wifi cameras were down when we left and I keep on playing back why he went upstairs. Was he looking for us? To help? To go and be alone? Was the bag on his head stuck when he went upstairs? I have so much pain and how could I let him suffer like that? He never left us alone. But the one tint we had dinner on a Friday night. And Saturdays are cleaning days. That bag was stale. It would've been in the gaebage the next day. We were the ones supposed to keep him safe and to look out for him. Why is this hurting so bad? There's no way we would ever be careless with him. He always had doggy spa days. He was our world. We did everything together. Our days were planned around him. Our routines right now is we can't even get out of bed. Let alone I don't have the capacity to go to work and be emotionally supportive to anyone at this point. He was my wife's tail. Everywhere she went, he followed. My boy is gone and I keep on waiting for me to wake up from this nightmare. I can't accept it. My wife is so distraught. We have each other but we still both feel so empty. 


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Dear Ones, I'm so sorry to learn of the tragic loss of your beloved Tucker. The photo you've included is adorable, and I can only imagine how your hearts are breaking with the pain of losing your boy ~ especially in such an unexpected and traumatic way.

I hope you will give yourselves permission to mourn this loss, and to take whatever time you need to do so.

Clearly Tucker was a treasured member of your family, and understanding the significance of this loss ~ how much he meant to both of you ~ is important as you come to terms with your grief.

I hope you'll find these readings to be helpful ~ and know that we are thinking of you as we hold you in our hearts:

Pet Loss: When Guilt Overshadows Grief

Loss and The Burden of Guilt

Pet Loss: Why Does It Hurt So Much?

Pet Loss: Is It A Different Kind of Grief?


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I am so sorry, he'sw so beautiful, his eyes...

My heart really goes out to you in your loss.

The what ifs blame game happens to most of us going through early grief, it did me when my husband died nearly 18 years ago...it's not that we are guilty of anything but loving them, and the truth is feelings are not facts, but it's that we can't wrap our heads around what happened, and our mind is trying to find some different possible outcome so it searches all the what ifs...

Comfort for Grieving Animal Lovers

A Dangerous Villain: Guilt
Breaking the Power of Guilt
A Dangerous Villain: Guilt

I hope this short video brings you some comfort and peace.


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