Sometimes I Think This Pain Will Never End

[avsqr_dancer]

But other times, I feel like I am starting to heal. But when I do think about my dear Tawny, the pain is just as intense as ever, and I just feel like it will never end, that I will never be able to think about her and remember the good times without all this pain. I am having so much trouble accepting her death, because she was so young, and the diagnosis was SO unexpected.

I am not a particularly spiritual person and I do not know what I feel about life after death. But I keep feeling tortured by wondering if Tawny is at peace and if she is also happy and is loved as much as she deserves, as much as we loved her. I also fear she is lonely without us.

I wish I could have strong feelings about death, the afterlife, etc. one way or another. Due to all my loss in the past year, I have thought a lot about it. But my own doubts are making this all the more difficult.

I am thankful for a place where I can express these concerns and will not be thought of silly of foolish.

Serl

[STARKISS]

Hi Dancer,

It is funny you brought up this post because I too feel that the pain will never end... I have been doing my grief journey for sixteen months and I feel I will be still doing it for another sixteen months who knows..... I feel so heartbroken and lost.... Take care Shelley

[avsqr_dancer]

Hi Shelly,

I am sorry to hear that you are also still in pain. I guess my hope for both of us-for all who are suffering from this kind of loss-is that with time the pain will ease. And like I said yesterday, that the memories will be replaced with joyful ones, rather than this pain. Thanks for answering. I wish us both luck through this very painful journey.

[STARKISS]

Hi Dancer,

Thank you for your reply to my post, I too wish us a peaceful and painless future God Bless You Shelley

[miakittymeow]

Dear Serl and Shelly,

I am very sorry for both your losses. I, too, wondered if the pain would ever end when Mia did not come home last fall. It was a long haul, but in time, it did get easier.

I adopted two kitties from the shelter after Mia left and took in a ferel. Digit was the first I adopted, and I really was not quite ready for him at first. Having a kitty around that was not Mia was very difficult at first.

But now after Digit's passing, I think it is actually helpful for me to have the other two kitties around. I guess every situation is different.

I wish the best for both of you and thank you for the support and kindness that you have shown me.

Lori

[dpodesta]

Serl,

I know this has to be difficult for you. I was thinking about you the other day when a good friend of mine had to put her golder retriever to rest, she was 13 years old. Granted she lived a long life compared to Tawany, but all the same she will be missed. I believe that Tawany is chasing bunnies across endless beatiful fields and has more love than anyone here on Earth can give. I know she knows how much you loved her and will be there for you when it comes time. She is at peace tonigh without any sickness, pain or sorrow. I pray that you will find peace in this and know that she will always be alive in the memories you have of her.

[avsqr_dancer]

Thank you, Derek, for your response. I feel for your friend too because I now know it is never easy to lose a pet. I dread the day that I will loss Tawny's littermate, as well as my other pets. I just hope that they will be granted long lives. Your belief in where Tawny is now brought tears to my eyes, but is also very comforting. Missing her is part of the pain, but still worrying about her has made this all the worse. But I like the image that you gave me, and I will try to hold on to that when I I think of Tawny or when I get particularly depressed. Bless you for taking the time to respond to my post.

[MartyT]

Dear Serl,

I don't know if you've had an opportunity to read through some of the other messages posted in this forum, but I think you may find this thread especially relevant and helpful: I Miss My Best Friend, My Dog

See also the inspiring pieces on Rita Reynolds' Web site: From the Other Side

Wishing you peace and healing,

Marty T