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Before I start, I want to say that I don't mean to offend anyone, that isn't the point of this message. I have posted a few times on this board but it's been a few months. I am 23 years old and in the past 4.5 years I lost 3 grandparents and my mom. It seems like my age group is somewhat forgotten and skipped over. There is a lot out there for children and teens dealing with loss and support groups and then suddenly we skip to adults. Older adults all the time, when they hear about my loss (mainly my mom) they start to say how they know how I feel and that they lost their mom or dad recently. And it frustrates me some. I don't mean to minimize anyones grief or loss but it is a totally different form of loss-losing a parent later on in life VS. losing a parent in your 20's. I would give anything to of had my mom with my into my 30's and 40's. It's hard for me to think about my future and getting married someday and having kids and living my life because my mom isn't going to be a part of any of that. It's hard for me to see older adults who still have their parents, I am happy for them and hope that they feel fortunate but it makes me feel so sad. Trust me, I know life isn't fair. Maybe I am the only one that feels this way, but I doubt it. I wish there was more out there dealing specifically with younger adults and losing a parent.

It'll be 2 years on halloween since my mom passed away and I hate this time of year. It's bad enough losing someone but having it happen on a holiday really stinks. There are reminders all over the place and it still feels just like yesterday.

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Hi, Kasey: I'm truly sorry for your loss. Losing a parent, regardless of age, is a huge event; we are our parents' children no matter how old (or young) we get. When I lost my Dad this past June, I went to bookstore after bookstore, looking for materials about daughters losing a father. I found very little. There were tons of information about other situations, but not much about the one I'm in. That felt very lonely and I cried right in the middle of the bookstore. It hurts because it felt like nobody was taking into account my situation. So I'm going to try and write a book about my Dad when I'm feeling better. Perhaps it will help someone else when they've lost their Dad. I'm so glad you joined our group; people here are so understanding. Just please know we're here for you and we will do our best to listen, understand, and help.

Hugs,

Leann

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Kasey,

I am sorry you lost your Mom at such a young age. I was 39 and I feel lucky and blessed to have had my Mom at my wedding and that she got to meet and know my children, her granddaughters. My sister-in-law lost her Mom when she was 14 years old. I know there is a sadness for her that her Mom wasn't there physically when she married my brother and she never got to meet her children. I can't imagine my Mom not being there when I had those huge milestones in my life.

I too envy those who had their Moms with them until they were 50 something and 60 something. Their loss is still painful too because so many memories have been made. We all share the common loss of memories made and memories that could have been no matter what our ages are when we have lost someone who has known us for our entire lives. I think the one thing we all want is our lost parent...especially if that relationship was strong, loving and close. I know I yearn so badly for my Mom at times.

Hugs and comfort to you as you come up to the anniversary of your Mom's passing.

Edited by LoriW
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Kasey,

I agree that losing a parent in your twenties is different than losing one later in life. For one thing, people generally grieve "differently" at different ages, or so I have noticed, and realized through my own losses. And I always feel so terribly sorry for people like you that lost your parents at a young age. But I also have to say that when you lose a parent, it doesn't matter if you are twenty or sixty, you feel as if you are five again!

Maybe you could get Marty to let you start a special section or something.

Hugs to you,

Shell

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