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Four Months


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Hello everyone,

I am at the four month part of my grief. I have heard that 3-4 months can be the hardest and I am finding that to be true. I have never felt soo alone as I have these past couple weeks. I think I realized what the main thing is besides losing Trevor that is making me so sad, I miss being part of something!! Weekends are horrible now, because it seems at this point people start forgetting about you and thinking things should be better for you now. I find during the week all my friends are working, and on most weekends it's family time for them or time with their spouses I miss that. I wanted nothing more this last Friday then to curl up on the couch with Trevor beside me. I haven't written or commented in awhile because my mind is in such a haze right now sorting through all the events of the past months that I am finding it hard to express myself. I am just feeling so alone, and I miss the comfort of having someone next to me, someone to hug, someone to just lay with.

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Brooke,

I noticed you havnt been posting and missed you. It is hard to find the words to say sometimes. I am at 4 1/2 months and it is a very hard time. The more time that passes the more I realize he is not coming home and it hurts soooooo bad. I hate the weekends too. I recently posted that I think on Sat night. Right after I called my sis and was reminded how her and her boyfreind were going out for dinner and dont think of inviting me. I feel like an outcast. I know what you mean about just wanting to snuggle on the couch with him. It was those simple things I took for granted. I dont think there is a magical date or time when the lonliness will go away. I just hope this doesnt last for a long time. If I had my way I would remove the weekends from the calendar. I hope things get easier. Take care

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"If I had my way I would remove the weekends from the calendar." That is how I felt when I was working...now I just wish I could remove ALL days from the calendar. I don't like being alone and I don't like thinking, let alone dealing with all of the stresses. I hope it gets better, for ALL of us...SOON!

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Brook,

I went through the same thing at 4 months. The weekend days haven't been a problem for me as I had a lot of work to do around the house getting things fixed that have needed attention for the last couple of years. The nights are another story. Now that daylight savings time is gone, it gets dark too early and that is when it hits me. There is a lot of things that need to be done inside the house, but I just don't want to do them. At 7 months, I still wish I could hug Karen one more time, I can't believe it has been 7 months since I felt her touch or heard her voice. I also can't believe Thanksgiving is next week, I am so not ready for it. We used to have a big lunch with her family and then we would go over to my family in the late afternoon for another feast. This year it looks like we won't be doing anything with her family until Saturday. It just doesn't seem right. Anyway now that I havee gotten off on my own tangent. Brook, just keep taking it one day at a time and trust God, give it all to him and he will take care of you.

Derek

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