First Christmas

[Deanne]

This past April we found out that my father had lung cancer. When we found out we all thought that he would be able to get through it. Though the cancer had already gotten in his blood and spread, we were still hopeful. Regretably, my father was a lot sicker than he let on, and in September while he was in the hospital to recorrect a surgery he had already had he suddenly got extremely short of breath and they had to put him on the resporator. That day I was pulled out of school to go see him, when I got there all my family was there. The next day we found out that one of his lungs had collapsed and that all of his organs were slowely dying. That day we had to let him go, it was the hardest thing I've ever done in my entire life. Everything afterwords just seemed like a dream. Even today I have a hard time telling myself that it actually happened. I know this Christmas is going to be extremely hard on my whole family, even thanksgiving was tough. My brother seems to want to go on with tradition and keep things the same, where as I am on the other spectrum. I really could care less if we even got a tree. My mother seems to be with my brother on keeping up with tradition, which doesn't bug me, but sometimes I question if she really wants to or is just to keep up with the "I'm O.K." facade. Does anyone have any helpful tips to maybe make this holiday season a little easier?

(sorry about the rant...it came out to be quite long)

[lorikelly]

I am so sorry for your loss. this will be my first with out my mom. i don't think i have any really good tips on how to get through it. i am just going to try my best, i know it will be so hard. i didn't decorate like i normally do and we put up a much smaller tree. this has helped alot. i do find my self really sad right now and questioning alot of things in my life. i will pray for you and all of us that God will give us the strength to get through and to have peace in our lives. Lori

[MartyT]

My dear Deanne,

We're all so very sorry to learn of the death of your father, and you have our deepest sympathy. You've asked, Does anyone have any helpful tips to maybe make this holiday season a little easier? and I'd like to point you to another post that addresses this same question:

Holidays?

[dpodesta]

deanne,

My wife died this past April from a heart attack and I have a 7 year old son. Speaking from my experience, your mom may be trying to keep things as normal as possible. I myself don't want to put up a tree either, however in order to make things as easy as possible for my son, I will put one up and we will have the usuall routine for Christmas eve and day. I would never tell him that I don't want to put up a tree, so you mom may be doing the same thing.

I am planning to do a couple of thigs different to start a couple of new traditions. That might be something for you to consider to make things a little easier. I know how difficult this must be for you as I am also having a difficult time witht he holiday season rapidly approaching. I will be praying for you and your family. I hope this has helped

Derek

[STARKISS]

Hi Deanne,

First of all I would like to say that I am sorry for the lost of your father. And the best think I can say is to just try and do your best with all everything and just do what you feel comfortable doing and not let anyone tell you that you should do more... Take care Shelley