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Well, I hope everyone got through okay. I waited until almost the last minute to shop and wrap and worked all night long the night before Christmas Eve. I made 55 deli platters in the store where I work. So that kept me busy and tired me out. I did ok last night with getting the kids to bed and putting the presents under the tree, although it did upset me to write on the tags just "Love Mommy." or Santa, no Mommy and Sean. But I was ok when I went to bed, and I prayed like I always do and talked to Sean so long that I fell asleep doing it. The kids let me sleep until 8:00, and I was ok watching them open presents. We watched a new DVD together, but when they all went downstairs to play their new video games, I just went back to bed and cried and cried. It just seemed to really hit me all of a sudden. I stayed in there most of the day until dinner, which I couldn't keep down.

Sean's ex wife called tonight. She's in town and Sean's son wants to see me and the boys. So they'll be coming over tomorrow night after I get home from my brothers. We have to do the whole big family thing tomorrow, since some are out of state. So I'm happy that we'll get to see Sean jr. but at the same time, a little nervous that it's going to be so upsetting. We always got him (from Boston) the day after Christmas until the end of Christmas break. I do have something special to give him though. I found a whole box Sean had saved of cards, notes and pictures he and his son had written to eachother since his son was in kindergarten. He's 17 now. (I'm sure they will mean a lot to Sean jr's Mom too) Also, I'm going to give him a gold watch that Sean recieved as an award for excellence at his job. On the gold face of the watch is an engraved train. Sean was a terminal manager for CSX RailRoad in Philadelphia. He had caught a major mistake, involving a dangerous chemical load that probably saved many lives. So that's how he earned the watch. I think his son would love to have it.

So anyway, it was a tough day. I hope the rest of you are doing alright. I'm wishing us all a better Christmas next year. Love, Laurie

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Laurie,

That is a nice gesture, giving his son the watch and cards. My late husband has children from a previous marriage unfortunatly he never got to see them because their mother put into their heads that he was an evil man. When he would go to pick them up for visits they would call the police and they actually showed up. It is nice that you can have somewhat of a relationship with them. I think Christmas next year will be less intense, or at least I hope. I am just glad it is over. Take care and hope things go well for you today.

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I could relate to Laurie when she said it made her sad to just write from Mommy instead of Mommy & Sean...when I was wrapping presents, I got a gift bag out and on it was a tag "to Little One, with love from George" and that was hard...I didn't cry, but it put a lump in my throat and I taped it to the inside of the closet door...

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Gosh, we all had the same kind of experiences... I was wrapping a few things and pulled out an old gift bag and read the tag and it said "we love you Momma from Maggie and Kasey". That is our beagles and Larry had written that on one of the last presents I'd gotten from him. I tore it off the bag and its standing on my dresser. I know others would say, you are just making this worse, when they don't understand, it brings happy memories to me and I can see his face. Yes it does make my heart yearn for him but I love remembering, thats all I have. Deborah

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Hi All,

I hope you had a little peace during this holiday season, for me it was different because I never had a lost husband or lover it was my parents who I lost.. But I did think of them all day especially thinking that they should have been there to enjoy us all opening our gifts and they were not... Here's to more peace through the rest of this holiday season God Bless Us All Shelley

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