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Lost Mom 1 Year Ago This Day


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Today marks the 1 year Anniversity of the loss of my mom. I'm so sad :(

I've been in a daze this whole year, and couldn't remember the exact date, I just knew it was sometime early January. Maybe I was trying to forget. However, A few friends called saying they were sorry and had me in their prayers. :(

This reminded me and screwed my whole day. I've been extremely sad ever since, constantly thinking of the day last year when I came home and saw her dead on her favorite couch. I hate that couch and want to throw it out, but I know she loved it. :( I miss her so much, and I'm so sad.

I just can't believe she's gone. She was my best friend.

I don't know what to say.....just thought I'd share thoughts......I can't believe it's been a whole YEAR!!! It seems unreal.

I miss her..... :(

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Shubom,

I'm so sorry you had to be reminded of this painful anniversary. I think of you often and wonder how you're doing. Are you still living with your aunt or have you returned to the house? It sometimes just seems like the pain never lets up! But, once you get past today, at least the one year mark will be over. Doesn't take the pain away, but it's a marker you've passed. Hang in there.

Hugs,

Shell

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Hi Everyone,

Thanks for the support. I just can't stop crying. :(

I no longer stay with my aunt. It took a while, but I was finally able to move back home and feel comfortable again. My sister and her boyfriend moved back in to, and we all lived together. Everything was going really good. I didn't feel so lonely coming home.

But then yesterday my sister's boyfriend got picked up by INS and has been detained. We don't know what's going to happen to him. He was on a student visa. It's horrible. I couldn't sleep last night.

It was just me and my sister in the house, and it felt like the day after my mom died all over again. It was sad and lonely.

He's been with our family for 2 years now. From day 1 after my mom passed, he's been there helping out. He was there when all I could do was think about dying. He mediated arguments between me and my sister. He kept us from literally "LOSING IT" !

Now I have images of him being deported out, lonely house, and then my sister moving to another continent to be with him, and leaving me all ALONE. All I can do is wish my mom was here. We were supose to stick together ! She wasn't suppose to die and leave me ! :( I don't know how much more I can take.

My sister has been the stronger one, but now I'm afraid she'll crack because of the situation. And there's no way I can hold her up and me too. I just can't do it :(

The crap just doesn't stop !

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Shubom,

You're right, the crap never stops! I'm so happy to hear you could go back home, but so sorry this had to happen. Maybe everything will work out alright, so try not to worry until you have to (and I sure hope you don't! I hope it all works out for you, your sister and her boyfriend!) As Lori said, keep us posted and take care.

Hugs,

Shell

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