I Feel So Exhausted

[lindsey1984]

My body feels so over worked,I feel so tired but when I do sleep @ nite I toss and turn and wake up alot it's like I'm getting no sleep. Oh and not to mention how everything hurts ( headaches,backaches,stomaches ) it just goes on ...

I still can barely eat I've lost 6 pounds! people probally think I have a eating disorder but I don't. it's just no appeite. I use to love to eat but now I could care less. The dizziness hits me out of no where, my chest pain scares me cause back in dec I thought I was having a heart attack or something and ended up in the E.R with horrible chest pain and my BP 195/100 and pulse was 187 but they said it was probally just stress the ekg showed an irregular heart beat but nothing too serious. Another weird symptom I've been having is burning and numbness in my arms it hurts so bad it wakes me up at night.

[Janine]

The winter night is still and sweet

snow drifts through the trees

peace comes to them

on silent feet

but passes over me.

A Sara Teasdale poem I altered for the season one night when I couldn't sleep

I wish I could sleep and feel like I had actually rested once again. It seems to be a common problem. The numbness is there also. I figure it is just from curling up in a ball to sleep. I have lost 17 pounds since Teresa died. Food seems to have lost its taste. I had panic attacks every night for the first few weeks after she died and now not so often.

I have spent the whole day in bed today with a migraine. I have always had them, but they come more often now and are much harsher than they have been in the past. It is amazing the toll that stress and the lack of good sleep takes on the body.

The best we can do right now is to take care of our own body & spirits. If you are not eating well, I suggest that you take some vitamins for now so you don't deprive your body of what it needs. Exercise or take a vigorous walk a few hours before you go to bed. I finally started back into my karate class and I sleep well on those nights.

Janine

[jc1030]

Lindsay,

There's nothing unusual with what you are going through. Grieving for the loss of a loved one is very exhausting.

When my father died, I didn't go to work for at least a week. I slept a lot, and yet I was still tired. Gradually I went back part-time, and then eventually full-time, although I still took a lot of days off. My office was actually surprised I returned so soon. My mom didn't go back to work for at least two weeks. Everyone deals with this differently.

As Janine said, make time for yourself and take care of yourself. That is what's most important right now.

Jeff

[LoriS.]

Lindsey...Feeling exhausted is one of those feelings that seems to be a common thread among everyone on these boards so I'm thinking that it's one of those very normal things that happen when we are grieving. I still get that way sometimes. I used to feel guilty about resting in the middle of the day, but than I realized that this is all part of the normal process.

Be gentle with yourself.

A big hug to you...Lori

[MartyT]

Lindsey, it helps to learn as much as you can about what is normal in grief, so you'll know better what to expect and what you can do to manage your own reactions. You may find these articles helpful, too:

Understanding the Grief Process

Physical Reactions to Loss

Coping with Sleeplessness in Grief

[MarieR]

Lindsey..I could have written your post..you are experiencing alot of your grief in physical ways.One of the most comforting tools that i used was Marty's book...Getting thru the first year of grief...it has a comprehensive list of all the physical manifestations of grief...as well as info about everything else. You should get a copy and read it thru. I was originally loaned a copy and thought it was such a great tool, that i ordered 3 more so that I would have a few copies for the future if anyone needed that comforting.As far as the burning and numbness in your arms..I've had that too. It was from holding my neck and shoulder muscles so tight in an attempt to armour/protect myself...that I was squeezing the nerves and causing that burning/numb/tingling thing. Find some cd's to listen to at night to help you fall asleep...relaxation/guided meditation cd's. You'll get thru this...even though it feels at times that you've been too wounded to recover...trust that you will.Give yourself permission to operate at 50% right now...that's good enough...do only what needs to be done and don't pressure yourself for anything. The day will come again when you will operate at 100%...be patient with yourself and this process...trust yourself. You will be fine..just take as good of care of yourself as you can. It's ok that you've lost weight..drink protein drinks to supplement your diet until your appetite returns...it will.If it would make you feel better...go get a physical and bloodwork...to know that you're ok physically. I did and all came back better than ever..amazing, since I'd never felt so crappy.

Keep posting here and talking..this is the place where no one gets tired of hearing and comforting.

Peace to you...Marie

[Paul S]

Hi lindsey,

Please go and read what Marty had posted, those links will help you understand what you're going through.

I was also exhausted or fatigued for months after Mom died. My reaction was a little different, I didn't suffer from insomnia, instead I slept for 9-11 hours a day. Sometimes I'd got to bed as early as 6PM.

I also didn't feel like eating. Mom cooked, and I had all her utensils and pots and pans. I just didn't feel like using them. I also just didn't feel like eating. I lost a ton of weight. (I've put it back on, um, plus some )

Paul