Just Checking In

[pebbles]

I have not been able to check in to the boards lately and even though it has only been a few months since I found this wonderful place I missed it!!! I hope no one "minds" that I hang around here even thought I havent had the loss of my dad yet. It is helpful for me to anticipate (as best I can for lack of a better word) what is to come. My dad has been holding his own lately although he has had a large blood clot in his leg so that adds to the cancer and other issues he has. He never wants to worry us kids...he has always been that way. It has never been about him...he would help people and stay in the background. So when he ended up in the hospital with this he didnt want to worry me back at home. I will always worry...don't we all?? Well I guess we take it one hour at a time. Sometimes it seems "real" to me and other times like a bad nightmare. I have a recurring dream sometimes..same dream each time. Maybe that's my brains way of accepting? I don't know...sorry for going on. Just wanted to say everyone is always in my thoughts. Thanks for being there...

[Leann]

Hi, Pebbles...My thoughts and prayers are with you. I can only imagine how difficult it must be for you to see him going through all of this. Your Dad sounds pretty much like mine. He had been my Mom's caretaker for many years and his consuming thoughts the night before he died was that she be well taken care of, which my brother and I are attempting to do. He always felt that he had to be so strong for everyone else. Please take good care of yourself and keep us posted on how he's doing.

Hugs,

Leann

[shell]

Pebbles,

No one "minds" that you post here, even though you haven't lost someone yet. You're wise to learn all you can about grief before it happens. I'm so sorry about your dad. Hang in there as best you can. Anticipating a loss can be just as bad as actually grieving for one, so post your feelings or questions anytime!

Hugs,

Shell

[jc1030]

Pebbles,

In a many ways, I envy you in that you are still able to spend time with your dad right now. Even with all of his medical problems and the anticipation of loss, you are still able to talk to him or visit him.

I know a a lot of people in the medical field tell me that if someone wants to go, they would rather suffer a stroke than to deal with cancer. While that may be true, it's no real consolation for the family members. Course, it's no consolation either way. I'm still sad that I never had the chance to have a final conversation with my dad in the end. I'm sad because I still remember the last conversion/semi-conversation I had with him talking about how dissatisfied I was at work. I know parents want their kids to be happy, and I'm sad knowing he took to the grave that I wasn't happy.

Anyway, I hope you get to see you dad as often as possible.

Jeff

[LoriS.]

Pebbles, we missed you too! You are always welcome here to "hang around"!

Hope all is well with you!

Lori