Worrying About Your Death/sickness

[lorikelly]

I know that after you lose someone it is normal to think of your own death. i have been so preoccuppied with it . i keep wondering when it will happen, how , what will happen? i also wonder am i going to get old and not be able to help myself. will i wind up in a nursing home? i am only 38 so i shouldn't be so worried but i am. i am also terrified of getting sick. i have this fear that i am going to get some kind of illness and not be able to take care of myself or go to work. it is crazy, i think about it all day.

i took care of my mom at home and never placed her in a nursing home. i don't want my children to have to do this for me but i am so afaid of winding up in one, i am hoping i go before that happens. i told you this is a crazy topic , i just needed to see if anyone else felt this way. thanks for always listening to me. Lori

[LoriS.]

Hi Lori, I had a similar situation happen to me. It was the year of the last big California earthquake...1994...and I was totally freaked out like a lot of people. I was just starting to get back to normal, than my mom was diagnosed with endometrial cancer, stage 4 with a 30% chance survival rate. Her doctor really had no hope for her and asked her if she would be willing to be part of a study regarding chemo meds. She had surgery, entered the study and started getting better! All the while I had been flying back east back and forth to be with her and my dad and helping my brothers deal with all the doctor appointments; my kids were 8 and 12 at the time and I was running myself ragged! I started obcessing about my mortality and that's when I had started with panic attacks. I asked myself the same questions that you are asking yourself. I ended up in the hospital. I was mentally and physically exhausted. It's been a long road since then...dealing with my panic attacks and anxiety, a variety of meds, my mom and dads future illnessses since that time and their eventual death.

I think that when our parents get sick, it really poses questions about our own mortality.

Lori, you sound very busy...with working and young kids with homework, etc. I was the same way back then. I'm glad you have your faith. I hope your therapist and minister can help you through this so that it doesn't escalate and get out of hand.

I'll be thinking of you...Lori

[gabrielle_land]

I understand what you are talking about, I have thought about my death more than I could have done before, and Im filled with fears, but most of all fears related with death of those around me. The first 4 months after my boyfriend died I was scared of death so much, not just about me but my family or close friends. I remember when they talked about a cousin who has alcoholic problems they would all speak normally about the subject, but I just had to leave cause I was bursting into tears just fearing in any moment she could pass away, it is like a phobia.. or when my little cousin fell from a branch while playing as most kids do, I went nuts, and again started crying thinking he could pass away too. I wonder about death alot, who will be next, and how. Im scared of a painful death, i think about it constantly and I really wish it may not be that way...

[shell]

Lorikelly,

I worry about my own death too. I am divorced, with no children (except my cats, which truly are my children, but unfortnately cannot take care of me if I get sick!) and wonder if I'm going to just die all alone. I also worry about dying before my babies do. I've made plans in my will for that, but they are so close to me that going to a new home would be so hard on them. And I worry that if I do get sick, who will take care of me? Then I finally decide to just try not to worry about it! A lot easier said than done. If all the events of my life have taught me one thing, it's that things just happen the way they're suppose to, no matter what you do! But, believe me, you're not alone in your worries.

Hugs,

Shell

[jc1030]

Lori,

I've been worrying about this ever since my dad died. Being an only child whom my parents had later in life, it's something that's always been on my mind, but now even more so. I'm more jittery now. I am hoping this will subside a little, but it's probably here to stay.

Jeff

[AnnetteAZ]

I worry about my future more than my mortality. I'm not young, I have no children and my family has been separated from each other for over 40 years. I know I will eventually be in a nursing home and will have no one to comfort me at the end. I just hope I have the strength to endure it and not get mean and ugly. I know having children is no guarantee that they'll be there for you in the end but it's alot bigger odds. I'm so scared.

[shell]

Annette,

I know how you feel. I'm scared about my future too. I just try to believe that everything will work out ok.

Hugs,

Shell