walter/Erica Posted October 8, 2007 Report Share Posted October 8, 2007 Yes Walter,i hope that you know how much I love you and miss you, how difficult life and living is, but i am persevering beacuse of our two children, and I think its what you would have wanted me to do. I hope you know how hard it isfor me. I miss your company, shoulder to lean on, your laugh and smiling face, your humour, your touch, the protection and security you provided for metoday i am feeling sort of numbish, dont know if thats good or bad..at least its a break from feeling as bad as I did last week.What I am finding now is that I am reminiscing about the start of his illness round about October, the terrible time of anxiety and depression taht we went thru from Oct up till his death in March....I just feel so much pian when I think about what we went through as a family and especially for him...knowing taht he wsa going to die and leave us....It hurts me so much. I wish he could hold me in his arms. oh God have mercy on us all.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
teny Posted October 8, 2007 Report Share Posted October 8, 2007 Erica I was just posting when Isaw yours if Icould expres myself in english better my words would be the same.I have grown up kids that they dont need me so much.My reason for living was the great love for YIany.As you say please god have mercy.I think of you from far away. TENY Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Corinne Posted October 8, 2007 Report Share Posted October 8, 2007 Erica,Please know that my thoughts and prayers are with you today. I know the numbness you speak of and I think maybe it is our minds way of giving us a break from the pain.Hugs & prayers,Corinne Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gail_R Posted October 8, 2007 Report Share Posted October 8, 2007 Erica I'm so sorry for your loss. I know how you feel it will be 9 months on the 20th of this month that Bruce is gone. Like you it is hard to believe. Please take care of yourself and know that you are in my thoughts today. Gail Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
suzanne Posted October 8, 2007 Report Share Posted October 8, 2007 EricaI am so sorry. I reached 7 months last week. It is so painful. I will be thinking of you today.Suzanne Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WendyJ Posted October 8, 2007 Report Share Posted October 8, 2007 I too reached 7 months yesterday, gosh I miss him so much. Life is so unfair and cruel, I hope I never get reincarnated I couldn't go through this again !Wendy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
walter/Erica Posted October 8, 2007 Author Report Share Posted October 8, 2007 Precious friends, thank you all for your hugs,warm and kind thoughts, empathy. It is so good knowing others have been where I have been, felt what I have felt.... I have come to realize that the numbness I feel today is a way of God relieving my pain...and if I remember correctly, things will spiral up from this point till the next wave of grief hits...more respite from this pain . The one blessing when I think about last year this time, is that we dont have to go through the terrible experience again, and that Walter is now free from all pain, physical discomfort, sorrow and sadness, where he now lives ... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WendyJ Posted October 9, 2007 Report Share Posted October 9, 2007 Oh believe me I know I am right where you are. I started to type a reply to another post and as I was typing "Steve no longer exists" I did it in slow motion, it was so weird it was like I was telling myself for the first time...he is no longer here and never will be again and I lost it and erased the whole post. I have this strange feeling I have been lying to myself and leading myself to believe that this is just temporary. I am afraid that one day I am going to snap, does anyone else fell this way?Love,Wendy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kayc Posted October 9, 2007 Report Share Posted October 9, 2007 We have. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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