Memorial Service

[AnnieO]

Well, I survived one of the most emotional week-ends of my life. I am so exhausted that I am completely numb and afraid of what this next week will bring when the numbness wears off.

I hosted Thanksgiving(the first without my mom and dad) at my house with 31 people and then on Saturday we had a memorial service for my parents here.I have been a wreck for weeks and weeks, planning the service, wanting it to be perfect. And it was.It was very small, personal and exactly what my parents would have liked. There was laughter and tears and wonderful stories and as per my mom's wishe..good food and really good wine! I was so afraid I wouldn't be able to get thru it, but as I was pressing my son's pants the laundry room door, slowly closed(it has never happened before) and yes it was probably the furnace kicking on but in that moment I felt my mom's strength and I knew she would be with me thru-out the day. I managed to get thru the day and at one point my daughter had written something she wanted to read but became too emotional to read it, I stood up and read it and got thru it. As I looked around my house it was filled with people that loved my parents , my house never seemed so warm and full of light and love. I have no doubt my parents were there with us. My mom will be gone one year on Dec.7, my dad has been gone 2 months. I have been so focused on getting thru Thanksgiving and the memorial that I have not allowed myself to think about them,at all. Now,I know what is ahead of me and I won't be able to stay in denial. But, yesterday I know my mom and dad were so proud of me and that makes me smile. Thanks for listening.

[Willow]

Annie,

My condolences to you and your family!

I have been sharing some of the very feelings you have been going through. My mother passed away Aug 30 of this year. She was 97 . For the past four years mother lived the first three years with me and the last in a nursing home a half mile from me. I was with her every day, visiting two and three times a day for about 4-5 hours. Up unitl the last week of her life she was sitting in the hall reading hymns, etc. that I had typed out in 26 font for her. She was such a gracious lady and terrific mother. It was hard to let her go. I stayed with her until she passed away, dipping my fingers in cool water for her to suck on, and just holding her, assuring her that I loved her, I would be okay, and that I would take care of our family....and that I would move on stregthened by the strength I saw her exhibit in her life as she met and survived the roadblocks in her life. She died so peacefully, no struggle. I was reciting a poem to her and when I got to the last line "Keep thou my child on upward wing tonight" , she took her last breath. At that very moment, I felt the Comforter with me. and throughout the next three days, I felt that presence. I, too, believe she was with me. I remember talking to her about this event in our lives and I asked her to be with me. She said she would. We had a private viewing and my brother and I had a service which lasted about 40 minutes at the gravesite with about 25 family and a few friends of mine. Only once did either of us choke up when we mentioned her name. Everyone knew how close Mother and I were. They could not believe that I could stand up and talk about her.... I know someone was and is taking care of me. I cried a lot more before Mother passed away as I did not know how to help her. She would cup my face in her hands and kiss me and hold me. A couple of weeks ago, I had a dream. I can not remember a thing about the dream except that mother again cupped my face in her hands and kissed me.... It seemed so real. When I think about her, I regard those times as visits from her...I make her a a part of my daily life. I find that to be very helpful.

Annie, I like to think that I am here and Mother is there and that both of us are being cared for as it was when she was here in her own home and I in mine. I trust both of us to God's care.

This was my first Holiday without sharing it with Mother in 69 years. I spent several days with my brother. We had family and friends in and had a wonderful time. Annie, our parents would not want it to be any other way. we must remember this. In order to "fly" free, we must set them free...trusting that all is very well and as it should be...right now..right this very minute.

Sincerely,

Anna

[shell]

Annie,

Wow! You really deserve a big hand for all that preperation and getting through it so well. That would be tough under any circumstances! It sounds like you had a wonderful night and I'm so happy for you. Now, REST!!!!!

Big hugs,

Shell

[AnnieO]

Anna

You are right, we are sharing so many of the same feelings. I am sorry about your mom. I know my mom is with me and on the days I don't think I can get out of bed, I feel her strength and I get thru the day. You are also right about our parents wanting us to go on and find joy again. Thank you for sharing your story with me.

You will be in my thoughts.

[karenb]

Bless your heart, Annie

What an accomplishment! I'm sure it was hard to get through, but you sure came through, especially with the reading. All that love and feeling and good family....that was great. Take some time for yourself, now.

Your friend, Karen

[rosanne]

Annie,

I am so proud of you... Now take Shell's and my advice and rest!!

I only wish I could feel my mom like you do...

God Bless

Rosanne