Cindi Posted January 23, 2008 Report Share Posted January 23, 2008 I've been looking for four months for a place where I could talk about how I feel. I've read over and over that when you lose someone, part of the healing is to talk about it. Well guess what? No one I've met until now wants to talk. Its too morose or something. What are they afraid of? We're the ones who are suffering.So I go to work with grief all the way to the top of my neck and you won't believe this...but I actually got written up for crying at work which was a bunch of hooey because I only cried the first day back. I sweat excessively from my head and I was working in the copy room and I think someone must have seen me wiping sweat from face and reported me to H/R for crying. H/R tells me that I can't be so unapproachable, that I have to be friendly, smile and talk to my co-workers. H/R tells me that by the way, most here don't know that I recently lost my mom.I'm just not that strong. Several years ago, my nephew was rendered a quadriplegic as a result of a car accident. I remember seeing my mom standing next to his hospital bed and crying. He did not know the full extent of his injuries at that time so I told my mom "don't let him see you!" Her response? "I can't help it. When I was born I asked God for extra slenderizer and he thought I said tenderizer and that's why I cry so easily."Its one of my favorite memories but when she died, she ended up with God again and got to get that misunderstanding cleared up. Guess who got the tenderizer? My husband says "you should be done grieving by now.I'm depressed, I'm sad, I don't want to do anything. Its takes a great deal of effort to get up and go to work every day. I have no friends, and I'm angry with my sisters who can't seem to make much time for my dad. He's done so much for us all and I can't believe that they would do this to him. I expected much more from my younger sister and find that I can hardly talk to her now. My dad (and formerly my mom) have lived with us for about 11 years and my sisters are less than 10 miles away.I'll be back for more venting later on. Seems to help get some stuff off of my chest. Thanks for listening. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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