Remembering My Boy, Sabin

[Maylissa]

Today marks 8 long and lonely years without my Sabin, my boy, my son, my soul-mate, my biggest teacher.....undoubtedly my one-half-of-me. It was almost yesterday, but also an eternity in my heart, since I lost him in this lifetime. I feel sick with sorrow, longing, yearning for him still.

And as usual, not one person who knew what this date means to me, and who got a heads-up in advance, gave a damn. Typical. It's been a tough day, as it always is, full of tears and heartbreak, no matter how many years have passed. The heart doesn't count time, but our feelings.....

In the rising of the sun and its going down, I remember him

In the blowing of the wind and in the chill of winter, I remember him

In the opening of the buds and in the rebirth of spring, I remember him

In the warmth of the sun and the peace of the summer, I remember him

In the rustling of the beauty of autumn, I remember him

In the beginning of the year and when it ends, I remember him

When I am weary and in need of strength, I remember him

When I am lost and sick at heart,

I remember him

When I have joys and yearn to share,

I remember him

So long as I live, he shall live,

For he is now a part of me,

As I remember him

~adaptation of a Traditional Hebrew Prayer~

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One glorious day, my guy, I'll see you loping once again towards me, woo-wooing all the way, and my heart will find its home again, at last....such a blessed day that will be. Until then, I will remember you in every particle of my being....I love you, Boo-Boo, my beautiful boy, my very soul...

[lorikelly]

Maylissa

My thoughts are with you. i still can't believe it has been 16mos since i lost my wonderful spanky. i still call his name out and look for him. i know that one day i will see him again and he will come running to me just like sabin will do with you. lori

[Elizabeth A.]

Dear Maylissa,

I know just what you meant when you referred to your Sabin as your boy, your son, your soul mate. I feel this way about my dear Sunny boy. He has taught me so many things and though I feel I have sometimes taken him for granted recent events in my life have reminded me (or perhaps grabbed me by the roots of my hair and shaken me) just how much my Sunny means to my life. I cherish every day I have with my dear sweet cat, for I know that all to soon I will have to say goodbye. No it wont be goodbye forever, but goodbye for longer than I ever want have to say goodbye.

I am terribly sorry those around you did not remember the day your dear Sabin left this world. It's not the same for them as it is for you. You know that. It doesn't make it okay, it just is a reminder that those other people had a different relationship with Sabin than you did. I have a special day myself I call it "the day I lived" and truly very nearly died myself that day and the marks and the pain caused never truly leave me. Yet no one but me remembers that day. They know it happened sure, but unless I remind them with gusto, they don't remember. Rather like a birthday, I suppose.

As you said Sabin is with you, even now when you miss him the most, he is there. No you can pet him or feel his soft fur, but he is right there all the same.

[MartyT]

Maylissa, dear ~

There is not one among us who does not understand the private pain that accompanies the anniversary of the death of your beloved. Our thoughts and prayers are with you . . .

They Lie in Ambush

Anniversaries:

Days to stay in bed on;

times of remembering that throw us back emotionally,

into the past moments,

making our progress and lack of progress ever so clear.

Oh, if only someone had prepared me for a setback on anniversaries. Anniversaries of births, deaths, special moments, dreadful times, triumphant victories can exhume past pain as if it were fresh. It seems to be an instinctual ritual performed by our subconscious that pays homage to the shadow of lost dreams.

Memories don’t understand time. We expect to enjoy remembering or be unaffected by our memories. But anniversaries pluck at our subconscious, raising past feelings with no regard for the healing that has happened. It all seems for naught.

Even after years, we may anticipate that the anniversary of the death will no longer have an effect. Time has numbed the grieving, lulling us with the false security of normalcy.

Then we find ourselves in bed for the whole day, confused. But this is normal. We loved, and the imprint of that day rejuvenates both the love and the loss. Even if we convince our minds to forget, our cells remember. Expect this setback and be gentle to the part of the soul that doesn’t understand the passage of time. It is only temporary. Anniversaries are days to contemplate the past, and glimpse the tremendous difference in this new life that survived.

One year ago, you died. Today I look at grief. With a capital G. It’s part of my life, as much as air, food, companionship, and love. Yet I fear it. Avoid it. Deny it.

All through my life I’ve given up things, people, places. I’ve given up illusions – about omnipotence, about immortality. I’ve given up friends who unexpectedly betrayed me. Friends who moved away. I found out I wasn’t a whiz in science when I got a “C” on my fifth-grade exam. I found out that people lie, that parents break promises. I found out that my dreams of adolescence wouldn’t be realized by my twenty-fifth birthday. I discovered that dreams go away, as do lovers, parents, and siblings, by death, abandonment, or a divergence of life’s current. I discovered that the fantasy I had nurtured about someone loving me exactly the way I wanted was folly. I would never be loved that way.

I’ve given up many things in my life. And I have never been graceful about letting go. Either I thrust something away before it can leave me, or I cling like a pit bull on a postman’s leg. When you died, I was not prepared for the deluges of feeling that would conflict with one another. I wasn’t prepared to feel love and hate at the same moment. I was not prepared to push and pull at the same time. Perhaps that is why I am inert today.

~ Stephanie Ericsson, in Companion Through the Darkness: Inner Dialogues on Grief, HarperPerennial, NY, 1993, pp. 177-178.

[Maylissa]

Thank you so much, Lori and Elizabeth, for your kind and empathetic words for me. You've both said so much more than anyone around me could squeeze out of their stingy mouths or fingers (eg. an email)! I wasn't expecting much, just some kind of acknowledgment, no matter how meager....didn't even get that. Even though it turned out he knew what day it was (surprised the heck outta me, considering nothing was said), my husband couldn't understand why I was so on edge and cognitively disrupted all day! **sigh** I did my little ceremony alone (asked my husband to please retreat upstairs for a little while, which he gladly did, rather than sit with me for it....oh boy, that's love for you!). I just continue to compare what I would have done for my kidlets, in any given situation, to what none of these few people will do for me when I need something, anything. It's truly depressing, and only makes me miss my guy (and girl) all the more, each and every day. No one ever loved me the way and to the extent they did, and it's quite painfully obvious now that no one else ever will. It's all just gone....at least physically.

But Sabin himself came through for me, as he always does, in my hours of need. I'd asked him for a clear sign, to let me know he was there with me still, loving me as always...and he did. I'd had a website window (one of many) open for some time now, and just happened to again notice the picture of the grey cat there - the one who looks SO much like my darling Nissa. Little had I known, however, that one could click on these pics to open them to a larger view. When I discovered this and clicked, my heart almost stopped, I was so surprised at what was revealed! Not visible at all in the smaller version, was a BLACK cat, who ALSO looks SO much like my boy, it's unbelievable! And even more to the point, these two are posing JUST like Nissa and Sabin always were together....Nissa on her back in submissive stance, with Sabin at the ready to pounce. This picture is SUCH a familiar sight to me (in memory), it could have been one of my own! As soon as I saw it, it said to me, "See, Mom? HERE I am! Same as always, and back to playing with my sister, as usual! We're together again, and still with you, too. I was here all along, and you just couldn't see me!" NO ONE loves me like my precious, precious kids do! Here's the link to this site, so you can see for yourselves....(click on the pic at the right side, of the grey cat playing mousie)Sabin & Nissa Lookalikes at PurrfectPet Toys site You can compare this pic to this actual one of my kids, back when they were wee, little kidlets, with Sabin 'terrorizing' his poor sister....

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And as it always is, these signs come when we're least expecting them, in the most uncanny and serendipitous ways...ya gotta LOVE loving guidance like THAT! How ironic, yet typical, that even now, even from the spirit world, my boy/kids take up the slack where people fall so short. Who, in their right mind, could NOT realize how incredible, powerful and priceless animals' gifts, teachings and love to us unfailingly are????!

Elizabeth, I'm so glad for both you and Sunny that you recognize the extent of all that Sunny's done for you and that you're cherishing each and every day you're fortunate enough to have with him yet (a pic of him here would be great, if you can manage it). It's the single, best thing you can do, even IF it's not 100% every waking moment (which isn't really realistic anyway). At least you're aware of how important it is in the whole and that's what really, really counts.

I'm sorry, too, that people are letting you down as well when it comes to remembering key dates. You're right - it doesn't make it 'okay', even if WE understand their failings. If we actively seek out some of their attention, and they still choose to disregard our plea....what does that say about them? (not much good, if you ask me) What's important in these instances is not their relationship to someone who's gone, but how WE feel about it. What ELSE would really matter if you truly love someone? How THEY are feeling, usually. At least, that's how it was with me and my kids, both ways.

And yes, I miss the feel of my boy's fur....the absolute softest and at the same time silkiest I, and every other person who'd ever touched him, had ever felt (THEY said the exact, same thing, so it wasn't just a mother's bias!). The bits I'd kept just aren't the same as feeling them on his body. But I do keep both his and his sister's fur in a locket I wear every day, next to my heart. I just miss my kids more than air and I'd gladly give up air to be with them again. With both of them 'gone' now, I'm still just existing, despite any activity, even if a pleasant diversion. It's still just a diversion and a biding of time, compared to what I had when they were physically here. I'd truly be sunk if he and his sister didn't let me know in various ways that they were still close by, so thank God they do!

And Lori, we're almost on the same time frame as each other, with Nissa's 18 month absence coming up in this month, so 2 months difference between these losses. To me, everything over that year mark has felt like no MORE than that first year....so I understand how you would still be looking for and calling Spanky. I always talk to Nissa in my head, and sometimes out loud. It helps me feel more like normal and more connected to her. And every night, I kiss some pictures of my kids that I have on my night table (one of Nissa's even has a small banner that says "Always Kiss Me Goodnight," and is a pic of me doing just that!) before I then kiss my cat stuffie, which I still can't sleep without. It's just so, so hard to reconcile ourselves to this changed and most unwelcome landscape. As you said, one day, one day....and each day is one day closer to that day of glorious and full reunion.

Marty...it's been awhile. I was posting so didn't see your own post until afterwards. Oh yes, I can relate so well to all you included. I know (from my own experience) this stuff....too bad no one else around me does, or cares to, which is even worse. Oh, now I can't view your post from my editing mode...I'll have to come back later. But for now, thank you, for posting what you did and for also being here for me at this time of worsened upheaval.

Edited February 3, 2008 by Maylissa

[Maylissa]

And here's a really similar one of Nissa, to the one of the other grey kitty playing mousie...

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[MartyT]

Maylissa, dear ~ I know it's been a while, and how lovely it is to "see" you here again, if only for a brief moment in time. You are sorely missed!

The pictures of your boy and girl are amazing ~ I've never seen such shiny, beautiful fur, such clear and sparkling eyes ~ and I'm sure it's a testament to the loving care their mommy gave to both of them . . .

[Maylissa]

Hi, Marty. Now I have a few minutes again. Thank you...for missing me, for all the lovely words about my babies, especially. (and those other two, whom I assume are the family members of the people who own and run that cat toy company...they, too, are obviously well cared for, as their fur is every bit as shiny-looking! Yeah!)

However, these particular pics (except for the very first one of Sabin) are from when they were quite a bit younger, in our first home, before I'd even begun learning all about holistic care, high quality foods, etc. BUT, even when they each became very ill in their respective ways, their fur never became dull. It was always absolutely beautiful, to see and to touch. In Nissa's case, every single vet who ever saw her (many specialists later on, as needed) were shocked to find out her real age, and had all been expecting 'bad' fur, given her kidney failure. I helped her keep her fur clean as a whistle, on top of everything else. The only change Sabin's fur went through was taking on a mahogany tint in the sunlight....which I since learned was a definite sign of something being very wrong...one that even his vet. didn't pick up on when I'd mentioned it as a clue! If she had, he may have lived a lot longer. (hence, part of the reason I switched primary vets after he'd died)

Much of what Stephanie E. said is so, so true.

"Even if we convince our minds to forget, our cells remember." That's exactly right. And if we don't 'discharge' the traumatic parts at some point, we become ill in one way or another. This is part of what I've been trying to address with that SRT therapy, but it's a continual battle and build-up, when people keep insisting on acting so uncaringly. Unfortunately, I hardly find or make the time to use the process on myself at home, for discharging every single slight that comes along...I can barely keep up with them all!

It also helped to see yet someone else who has "never been graceful about letting go." Someone else down-to-earth enough to admit to it, too! That's pretty rare in this world.

Stephanie also said:

"I discovered that the fantasy I had nurtured about someone loving me exactly the way I wanted was folly. I would never be loved that way." I find that even if I can overlook other flaws, I can't overlook THESE kinds. Ignoring a day that I've clearly 'warned' people I'd be down on (and they got it in WRITING, in case they forgot the date)....it's just too unloving of them for comfort. I want to scream STICK IT ON THE FRIDGE! Just pick out a nice e-card ahead of time! Give me a call that day! Say something, anything, just to let me know you're thinking of me, even if you can't change a THING about my loss! You CAN change part of how I'm doing with it afterwards! As for any half-reasonable (I think) expectations on my part, to quote Jon Lovitz, I believe it was, doing one of his bits/impressions on SNL, "Is that so WRONG?!?" These are all people who should have easily realized how much harder these angelversaries would be on me now, now that BOTH of my kids have gone. They're always busy feeling sorry for so many other people, practically no matter the reason, and have been known to actually DO something for said people. But for me? Nothin'. This is crazy-making behaviour on their part, and that's exactly what it's producing in me.

And of course, the other part about Stephanie's comment is what makes this all so hard for some of us in the first place. These wonderful, non-human species.....they ARE the ones who most often DO love us the way we've always wanted to be loved, and often THEN some! So with them, it isn't folly at all. It's pretty much a given, at least if you yourself do some loving back. Naturally, my kids were loved to pieces all the time, so I got HUMONGOUS amounts of love back in kind, and then some.

Ignorant people used to try and tell us Sabin and Nissa were "spoiled." We always disagreed, saying they were never spoiled, just very loved, and what's wrong with that? And by the same token, they've 'spoiled' me for good, too. They gave me a huge taste of REAL love, and there's no going back to crumbs now. If I missed either one of them any more than I do, I'd implode, I'm quite sure.

[Elizabeth A.]

I'm not sure if I added the photos properly. Here is hoping anyway. These are my babies, my Sunny of course and my daughter Jessica. Sunny opened my mind and my heart, which created a space for Jessica as well. The photos are not the newest things in the world. I'm still working on getting my new pc up to snuff, but still here they are.

Sunny is a special needs cat, as I think you can see from the photo with my daughter he only has one eye. Sunny's life has not been an easy one, and I find myself begging for "years" more time to be with him. I have included one of his many baby photos, which was taken when he was 4 weeks old.

We do have two other cats, one is my DH's baby, and one is our ASPCA cat. I've already told him if we divorce I get Sunny and he gets Tiny (his cat). Gee I have so many great stories about how they came into our lives I keep having to remind myself to stay on track.

Truly I am sorry your DH was not sensitive to you. I guess all men have their moments. From where I sit with my heart full of ache, if I was having to remember the love I'd lost I think I'd spend the day in the bathtub. (no water, just tub). No we can't really do that I know.

The idea of keeping your kitties fur in a locket is a great idea. As I posted here a few days ago I have the blanket I wrapped Herbie in at the vet's office and I can't seem to wash it or anything, all I could think to do was put it in a ziploc and put it in my head board. Maybe when I get my current photos developed I'll be ready to think about scrap booking some of these things. Oh, not yet though, I don't think I'm ready yet.

SunnyJes2006.bmp

[Maylissa]

Hi Elizabeth,

I'm glad you got some pics of Sunny (and Jessica) up here. The 2nd one wouldn't open, though - I'm not sure the board settings allow more than one/per post, or at least not if the file sizes go over a certain limit/post. I needed my H's help to properly open the last attachment (the pic of Sunny and Jessica) and now am not sure exactly how he did it. I'm not great with computer stuff. So if you could resubmit that 2nd one of Sunny, that would be good. [i'm not altogether sure, though, the site is working right at present, because I can't get the font colour chart to show up properly, either, so can't use any colours in my posts; it comes up blank. Perhaps someone else could try clicking on it and see if it's just MY end?]

However, Sunny is a beautiful little guy, even with only one eye. My Nissa also lost sight in one eye in her last couple of months (to sudden and massive glaucoma from sudden high blood pressure, which we ended up actually healing with her homeopathic vet., but not before we could save her sight), but we chose (wisely, in her case) to not have it removed. However, it turned all black-coloured nonetheless. But I love those pics of her all the same. So, the same sentiment applies to Sunny! It's also beautifully-apparent that Sunny and Jessica love each other, too.

I guess one could say that ALL animals, esp. rescued ones, are "special needs" animals, seeing as they've already been abandoned and given up by someone who didn't value them. As such, they're in need of a great deal of love, if nothing else.

As for saving Herbie's blanket, there's nothing wrong with that! I've saved everything I could, including removed teeth from each of my babies, whiskers that fell out through the years, fur, their 'million' toys, their 'furniture', etc., etc. I've known people who refuse to shampoo carpet that their baby had had any types of accidents on (I was among that group, too, for a couple of yrs. after Sabin passed). They're last links to our beloveds, plain and simple, so we get to do whatever we want with them. My husband doesn't shift around anything of our girl's until I say so. My neighbours' cats, my girlfriends, only get to play with whatever toys I decide to allow them and in fact, I bought 2 new balls for one feline girlfriend, so I wouldn't have to keep using Nissa's. If I ever had more cats, they'd get their own, new stuff instead.

People might consider it more sad than anything else, but most don't protest a mother's or father's decision to keep their child's room untouched if they've died....at least not for several years hence. We should garner the same respect, as it's no different, really.

While I did get a custom-made shadow box made up for Sabin (I was 2-3 yrs. ahead of their popularity, so couldn't find any around), then filled it myself with certain keepsakes, I never even got the very last small part finished, as I was suddenly thrust into trying to keep his sister, Nissa, alive, within 2 wks. of losing him. My priorities had to change, period. So you don't have to feel badly about not having started anything yet. This is still on my 'to-do' list, even after 8 long years! And now, I've got a 'million' things to yet do in honour of Nissa (including her own shadow box, for one) to add to that list! I panic when I think of all this, as it's not easy and joyful work as it is. And I certainly don't wish to let it wait another 8 years! (by that time, they may even be back with me, as they've indicated they wish to be)

My husband is a very strange blend, of both caring and helpful guy and stereotypical male insensitivity and thoughtlessness. This inconsistency is very hard on me, esp. since I'd suffered the same kind of scenario in my childhood, so I'm extra-sensitive myself to this kind of thing, never mind when grieving. While he gives me space to do as I please while grieving, it's the fact that he's not actively involving himself that hurts, particularly when I know for certain that I'd put myself out there for him in like manner if I needed to. And if he nitpicks one more time about me wanting to buy something else small (and even inexpensive) in preparation for our girl's memorial service later this year, he'd best check to see if the frying pan is still in the cupboard before he goes to bed! ## I'll have to ask him just how cheap he thinks it would have been to have a service for a human child, had our girl been one.

There was something I read fairly recently, though, that pretty much sums it up for me, regarding the wisdom of trying not to have particularly specific, but also generalized, expectations of people....the same people who invariably let you down. Someone asked:

"Exactly how low should my expectations be, then?" She'd reached the point where pretty much no one around her would ever come through in ANY way for her. I thought her question was very valid. No one had an answer for that.

If it's true that we attract what we think we deserve (and what we think about most often), I'm at a loss, because I'm POSITIVE, in every cell in my body, that not only do I, but certainly my BOY (and my girl) deserve MUCH more recognition than what we've gotten throughout this nightmarish period, and I also try very hard to envision GOOD results. So ?????

Did anyone take a look at the picture sign Sabin sent me? If so, what did you think?

[Maylissa]

Oh, I almost forgot, Elizabeth....I'd gone looking for your post about Herbie and happened to read about this current event.

In the best interests of the cat whom you mother wants to get declawed, I offer some (of many, many) web articles on this inhumane procedure that you might print out and give to your mom to consider before she goes ahead with this. Most informed people nowadays consider declawing, in all its facets, to be nothing short of mutilation. Seeing as you yourself love your cats as your children and have their best welfare at heart, I suspect you'll want to know about this (you'll note that declawed cats are now considered "handicapped", a point that shouldn't be lost on you, especially):

Is Cat Declawing Necessary?

Is Declawing Cruel?

Cat Declawing

The Paw Project, from Handicappedpets.com

I hope you can convince your mother not to do this to that poor cat. Oh, and I've heard good feedback on those plastic claw shields, from several people. They DO work quite well. Me, I simply kept our kids' claws clipped reasonably short, once every 3-4 wks....and of course, they had their posts and a dedicated carpet scrap as well indoors, for their necessary scratching needs.

Edited February 4, 2008 by Maylissa

[Elizabeth A.]

Thank you for taking the time to look those web sites up, though I did actually know them. My dear sweet Sunny has all of his little points, between cardboard scratchers and my window screens he gets along just fine. Yes, I always tell him not to scratch the screens, but I figure the screen is better than my furniture (we have all micro-fiber as the cats don't seem to enjoy it as a scratching post).

Roarie is a lovely girl and is a perfect candidate not to be declawed as I have had her scratching on a cardboard scratcher since she was big enough to get around on her own. I will speak to my mother again, but as she read somewhere in her travels that FeLK positive cat scratches nearly always get infected, (I didn't notice that and Roarie scratched me un-accident as a baby at least once and my dh too) I don't know how much hope I will have.

I saw the photo that your dear Sabin had sent to you, and I completely forgot to comment in my last post. So I will say it now, that is completely amazing. That's all there is to it. Just WOW.

My sister has that problem with finding not such great men/boys and then after a period of time being completely disgusted with them. I don't know how to help her, nor do I know what to say to help you. It's hard to find good honest people in this world. My neighbor when I was growing up always used to tell me (when I would complain about my stepfather) that people like that are "dime a dozen" and it isn't worth getting all worked up over. My DH is very hmm, how shall we say? Intune with my needs. I don't think he would begrudge me a memorial, but I haven't had him that situation so I don't really know.

This Sunday is when I take my kitties (all three) to be tested for FeLK. That will be when the waiting will end and I will a glimmer of what the future holds for me and my cats, so please do whatever it is that you do, send happy thoughts, pray, etc that my good deeds did not jeopardize the health of my dear cats.

I'm not sure which photo didn't come through, but since you mentioned Jessica, I know it's not that one. I'm reattaching the one of Baby Sunny post his 1st operation, but you can see the other one at my blog. www.sandandsunshine.blogspot.com It's not much, but that might help your tired PC, oh and you have to scroll down to get to him (he's on the left hand side) because I posted a whole bunch of cooking tips there a few days ago.

[Maylissa]

There must be something wrong on my end, cuz I still can't open your latest pic of Sunny here. But I did visit your blog, so got to see him there....and Roarie...my goodness, another sweetie! You had me all teary-eyed reading your open letter to/about Sunny...

I don't have much time today for writing, so have to focus on one or two things. First, hydrogen peroxide use is great for humans with cat scratches to stop any infection setting in (and to use it for cats themselves who've gotten scratched, cut it 50/50 with purified water or saline solution), or even for clearing any up if you were tardy in tending to a scratch. Use as many times as needed through a day. Feline leuk. is not contagious to humans, either, if that was what you mother was also thinking. I sincerely hope you can do all you can to convince her otherwise, as I've heard of far more cases than I'd like of people ending up either getting rid of or even euthanizing their cats who've run into bad problems after they've been de-clawed. Not at ALL fair to the poor cats, who never asked to have their entire toes removed in the first place. Plus, even indoor cats can (and do!) escape to the outdoors, and they'd be out there, defenseless against attack. I'm sure you can convince her to do the right thing if you don't give up.

As well, if Roarie came from a shelter (if I read that story correctly - no time to check today), your mother AND yourself may be opening yourselves up for a lawsuit, as any credible rescue group (or individual) usually has very strict policies in place against allowing de-clawing, among other things, and for very good reason. They rescue these unfortunate souls in order to make their lives better (that's the hope, anyway), not to cause them even more anguish. So you may need to check any terms of adoption or fostering. This alone may be enough incentive for your mother to change her mind. (and frankly, were it me, even though I truly HATE to lie to people, if it would save an animal pain, I'm not ashamed to admit that's exactly what I'd do to avert something like this, if need be - I'd be telling my relative there WAS such a policy in place, whether there was or not! And then I'd do my utmost to help everyone involved learn how to deal with it)

And now I have to wade into the harder part to explain. It's ALSO not always the 'death sentence' that many mainstream vets. claim it is. To be short and to the point about this, I know this because our homeopathic (distance) vet addressed this disease in his acclaimed book, "Homeopathic Care For Cats & Dogs - Small Doses For Small Animals." If you can order his book, you'd be doing yourself, and all your animals, a grand favour, trust me! Just Google "Dr. Don Hamilton, DVM" and you won't believe how many 'hits' you'll get, including links to his book on Amazon.com.

Along that same line, I'd really suggest Roarie also never get vaccines. Feline leuk. is linked to the immune system, and there are many good reasons to not further compromise an already-whacked-out one, which is what vaccines do at the start. Again, I'm taking this from our celebrated vet's information. (the chapter in his book on vaccinations, alone, is worth the price of the entire book) Likewise, the same goes for any of your other cats who may have contracted this condition. IF their immune systems are very healthy, it's not likely they did, though. And as I do for almost everyone (not that most ever take it to heart), IF there's a problem, I'd highly recommend using Dr. Hamilton (via phone consults; how he works it anyway) as a primary vet., since he's so darn excellent and understands so much more than most vets. about how to treat and manage the worst kinds of conditions. You'd have to be open-minded, though, or it wouldn't be a successful partnership.(he used to be a regular vet, too, btw, for about 7 years, before he realized none of his patients were getting well enough through mainstream practices, so took himself off in a much better direction) In fact, even better, I'd highly suggest anyone use him before there's a huge problem to try and surmount! Prevention is always best, after all.

Quickly, I'm so glad you peeked at that other pic/sign from my boy. What a guy he was, is and always will be!

I'll have to leave it there, for lack of time. But yes, you and your babies will be in my prayers/thoughts. I sincerely hope all goes well. Let us know, okay?

[Elizabeth A.]

I'll talk to mom about it again. Thanks for the info. Take care~

[Elizabeth A.]

Just wanted to pop in here and let you know my cats tests were Negative. I called my DH as soon as I got the tests back, (which I so wouldn't have done if the results had come out any other way) I half expected him to greet me at the door with a glass of bubbly. Yeah right, not my hubby.