Allison's Lessons

[KathyG]

Today, I had the good fortune to be in the audience for the first session of a lecture tour by psychic medium Allison Dubois (for those who don't know, she's the inspiration for the TV show "Medium"). I almost didn't go because I was afraid it would turn into a hokey fishing expedition where she'd c alling out, "I sense that someone in the audience has lost a loved one whose name begins with a J..."

But it wasn't that way at all. Allison talked freely about life after death and what it's like to receive and pass on messages from people who have passed on. She did this in a very credible, sensible, straightforward way - no hype or baloney. The lessons she shared with us seem to validate the life after death communication experiences that the members of this site have shared with each other. If she's right, love does live on after life and those times when we feel we've been contacted - we really have been.

Some of what Allison said, I've heard before from other sources or thought to myself "maybe that's how it is." But she puts these concepts together better than anyone I've heard before. I took notes, and below are some key messages Allison gave (not in any particular order). Some of them applied directly to what I've been through with Bill, and this impressed me and made me feel I was meant to be there to hear them.

Allison says her experiences with the dead have taught her that:

- People in a coma are aware that we're with them and hear what we say to them. She said that during many of the readings she has done, the deceased have referred to things their wives, sons, etc. told them while they were comatose.

- People who have cognitive disorders (Alzheimer's, dementia) live simultaneously in both this world and the next. When a dementia patient claims to have seen her mother who died years ago, we tend to think she's hallucinating. But Allison says these encounters are real; we just can't perceive them as the patients do. She added that because of this, when they die cognitive disorder sufferers have an easier transition than the rest of us.

- We aren't at fault if someone dies in spite of our attempts to save them. Allison states that our time of death is a fixed part of our individual life path that anyone else's efforts can't change.

- The departed send us messages when they want us to do something for them. She said a husband who died without completing an important task might send his wife signs that he wants her to finish it. On the other hand, if we need something from a loved one who passed, they will hear us if we ask.

- The departed don't want us to forget them, and they love it when we talk about them or do small things to pay tribute (like supporting a cause that was important to them, or thinking of them while eating their favorite food, or wearing jewelry that was theirs).

- Many of us believe that when we die, our physical suffering ends and our spiritual bodies are restored to full health. Allison confirms this, but adds that when a person who has passed reveals himself to her, they often look they way they did when they were happiest on Earth. For example, a man who died in his 90s might appear as a little boy, or a woman who loved motherhood might appear pregnant.

There was much more to the lecture that I won't describe. But I feel a little more at peace because it addressed questions that have been troubling me.

[Art]

Hi Kathy,

Thank you for this most wonderful post. If there is more that you can tell me about this lecture please do. I am coming up on the first anniversary of my wife's death and I'm having a really tough time. I have prayed for some word or message from her and so far nothing. Also, if you could tell me more about this lady I would very much like to try and attend one of these programs.

Thanks,

Art

[LarrysGirl]

Hi Art, haven't seen you post recently. The first anniversary is not easy but you will be able to get through it. We all want to know our loved one is alright and it is so wonderful when we do get messages from them. Larry has definitely helped me from time to time. Just be open to it. Take good care of yourself. Deborah

[lorikelly]

thanks for sharing that with us. i love the show Medium, i would of loved to see her . i went to one in dec and it was amazing, even my husband who didn't believe in them can't explain what she knew. lori

[suzanne]

Kathy

I also would like to thank you for this post. I think there are legitimate mediums and I have done a lot of research on life after death since my darling Will crossed over. I believe there is the ability for communication and myself have received such from Will. Some are very subtle and I think you have to be open to recognize this. Art, you may have had such and not realized what it was. In all I have found on this subject, our loved ones are still here but in a different dimension and are happy in their new surroundings. Almost all NDE's have not wanted to return to this earthly life. Their descriptions are a of a beautiful place beyond words with a heavenly being. For myself (which I know is not for everyone) I did have a channeling session and Will had the same personality and traits as he did here on the earthly side. Does it stop the pain, the loneliness, the missing, the heartache, all that grief entails? No, I still have the melt downs, the ups and downs and I know I will continue to have, but it did give me peace that he is okay and our separation is only temporary and only physical. His spirit is still with me. Still tough to live with. The support and compassion I find here gives me strength to keep on, one day at a time. I no longer look at it as facing the rest of my life without him, only today. Then see what tommorrow holds.

Suzanne

[Art]

I had a really hard time, but made it through the holidays. I really tried to enjoy it and I think I at least put on a good show for my daughters sake. Most nights I simply cried all or most of the nights. I really thought the anniversary of my wife's death wouldn't be any different than any other day, but as it approaches I can't help but realize it has been a whole year since I saw her, or talked to her, or heard her say I love you. And yet, it seems like only yesterday. How did I get here and how do I go on? Life just seems to be one blind step after another. I never did anything without her help and advice. She was a wiser person than I am. We made a promise years ago that which ever of us went first we would try to contact the other if it was possible. I have always believed there was a world beyond this life, but I am now wondering if it is so as I have not seen or heard anything that I could attribute to her. I would like to hear from any of you who have tried the mediums. I know that they are not for everyone, and I am not asking in order to criticize anyone for their view. I would simply like to know more about it.

Thanks,

Art

[suzanne]

Art

I too am facing the first anniversary on March 2nd. I would be more than happy to share my experience with a medium with you. We also made promises, the last words Will spoke to me were whatever happens tht's the way it is supposed to be and it will be okay, many hours before he crossed. Not sure how to make any contact without posting and would not want to make public all of my session. I hope you will find peace, she is with you, have no doubt about that

Suzanne

[KathyG]

Art,

To answer your question about why your wife hasn't contacted you, here's what Allison Dubois says on her web site (she said basically the same thing at the seminar on Saturday):

"If the deceased doesn't contact you ... does that mean that they don't love you?

"No, people who are grieving are often blocked by pain and the deceased has to find another way to contact them, through a friend etc. Sometimes it's just a matter of time. As I describe in my book 'Don't Kiss Them Good-Bye' when I lost my own dad even being a medium didn't allow me to see him. It took me two years before I could hear him.

"Don't force it and be sure to tell the deceased what you need from them, not as a challenge but from your heart. It also has to be within their power, like if you requested a “visit” from them in a dream. This is in their power, every night go to sleep and let them know that your heart is open to them and that you'll patiently await their appearance. If you ask them to come back to life then that wouldn't be in their power. So take it at your own pace and you'll find that many prayers are answered."

A few more lessons from yesterday:

- Those we loved are always around us, whether we perceive them or not. They want to maintain their relationships with us as much as we want it.

- Allison says that often people ask her, "Why is he (or she) gone but I'm still here?" Her response is, you are still alive because your purpose on earth is not yet fulfilled, and you have more to accomplish before your time on earth is done.

- Pets do cross over and are reunited with their human "parents".

- Allison confirms what Suzanne said: sometimes the dead speak to us in subtle ways, so we have to look for the signs they send. She cautioned us that things we may try to explain away as coincidences are not - they are usually communication attempts by our loved ones.

Art and Suzanne, I'm glad I've helped by passing along what Allison told us. You might also want to check out www.allisondubois.com, because she offers more information and resources there. Her next seminar will be March 3 in Atlanta. But you can also find out more about her from reading her books; her web site will tell you more.