KathyG Posted July 8, 2008 Report Share Posted July 8, 2008 KayC, Bob, Dusky and everyone,Your prayers, support and encouragement lifted me up yesterday on my first wedding anniversary alone. So many people don't want to share or even hear about feelings related to loss, and means everything to have you understanding what I'm going through and cheering me on.KayC, you said you thought Bill would be watching over me yesterday, and I really did feel his presence all day. I wanted to do something that Bill and I enjoyed together. So I had dinner at his favorite restaurant, a place I hadn't been able to return to in a long time. It's just a little family-type restaurant at a small airport in north Phoenix, but Bill liked their food and loved to watch the helicopters and private jets take off and land while we ate. I may not have seen him, but I know Bill was sitting with me at the table last night. And the sunset was especially beautiful.I've never been big on pampering myself, and I've put others' needs first all my life - my mom, my sister, my first husband (who was blind), and then Bill, who I nursed through a heart attack, ruptured esophagus, prostate cancer, and dementia before the final heart attack that took him from me. But yesterday I did something totally out of character - I spent most of the day at a spa having a facial, massage, manicure - the works. It was the best thing I could have done. I just let go of everything and let the experience wash over me. And for the first time in forever, I finally felt relaxed and at peace. As I lit the candle beside his urn last night, I knew Bill was happy that I still love him and I remembered to do something to help myself. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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