Thanks...you All Helped Me Through

[KathyG]

KayC, Bob, Dusky and everyone,

Your prayers, support and encouragement lifted me up yesterday on my first wedding anniversary alone. So many people don't want to share or even hear about feelings related to loss, and means everything to have you understanding what I'm going through and cheering me on.

KayC, you said you thought Bill would be watching over me yesterday, and I really did feel his presence all day. I wanted to do something that Bill and I enjoyed together. So I had dinner at his favorite restaurant, a place I hadn't been able to return to in a long time. It's just a little family-type restaurant at a small airport in north Phoenix, but Bill liked their food and loved to watch the helicopters and private jets take off and land while we ate. I may not have seen him, but I know Bill was sitting with me at the table last night. And the sunset was especially beautiful.

I've never been big on pampering myself, and I've put others' needs first all my life - my mom, my sister, my first husband (who was blind), and then Bill, who I nursed through a heart attack, ruptured esophagus, prostate cancer, and dementia before the final heart attack that took him from me. But yesterday I did something totally out of character - I spent most of the day at a spa having a facial, massage, manicure - the works. It was the best thing I could have done. I just let go of everything and let the experience wash over me. And for the first time in forever, I finally felt relaxed and at peace.

As I lit the candle beside his urn last night, I knew Bill was happy that I still love him and I remembered to do something to help myself.

[DoubleJo]

Sometimes the only way to get thru hell is to walk thru it and get to the other side, and you did. Its' amazing what acceptance and letting go can actually bring to you.

I am so happy for you. Now the peace that comes from the warmth of love can fill you up. It's a blessing-

Your friend- DoubleJo

[Leah]

Kathy, what a tribute you gave your love.

And Double Jo, my girlfriend keeps telling me that the only way through this is through this, your comment to Kathy made me finally understand what she means. Thank you.

Hugs,

Leah

[missingcharlie]

Kathy - Sounds like a good day, all 'n all. I know that spa felt wonderful and I am so glad to hear that you did something for yourself! After all...it was YOUR anniversary too and if Bill had been here I'm sure he would have bought that spa day for you. You deserved it!!!!

Hugs!

Patti

[kayc]

Kathy,

I am so proud of you!!! Bill would be too. I think you spent the day perfectly, as he would have wanted.

[DesertBob]

I wanted to do something that Bill and I enjoyed together. So I had dinner at his favorite restaurant, a place I hadn't been able to return to in a long time. It's just a little family-type restaurant at a small airport in north Phoenix, but Bill liked their food and loved to watch the helicopters and private jets take off and land while we ate. I may not have seen him, but I know Bill was sitting with me at the table last night. And the sunset was especially beautiful.

Good for you! That took guts! I'm glad it worked well.

I've never been big on pampering myself ... but yesterday I did something totally out of character - I spent most of the day at a spa having a facial, massage, manicure - the works. It was the best thing I could have done. I just let go of everything and let the experience wash over me. And for the first time in forever, I finally felt relaxed and at peace.

That's a big step in the right direction, kiddo. In my experience people who take care of everyone else don't treat themselves nearly so well. And indeed, in the thick of it, you often can't. Bill would want you to have a long, luxurious vacation. After all those years, you've more than earned it.

Cheers,

--Bob