Local Groups?

[Rosemary T]

I would like so much to find a few people in my area (I live in Orlando; home of Mickey Mouse) that I could occasionally get together with. I just can't seem to find them. Orlando is not a small town so I wonder why? I looked up a group for widows but it seems full of young chicks on Harley's (ones that seem ready to move on) and I don't seem to have much in common with them. No men at all in the group which makes me uneasy because it seems like more of a "girl's night out" which is fine but because of the age of the women and their demeanor (at least on line) seems more about "partying" then an emotional connection or friendship based on a common experience (losing a husband or spouse).

Then, I took Derek's advice and took a look at Christian Mingle and other "meeting new people sites) but they all seem to really be more of a dating site (and he said it was so I am not implying that this was misleading)which I just don't think I am ready for. The thought of romance makes my stomach churn. Isn't that a strange reaction?

I am looking for mature people who are just looking for companionship from others who have been through the same thing. I don't want to be part of a "meat market" and I don't want the focus of the group to be dating or looking for a new partner. I also don't want just a social network where people may not understand my pain or why I react to things the way I do.

I want to meet people who want to go to interesting museums or cultural events. Or maybe horseback riding or watching a live show. It could even be a fun game of cards. But I also want it to be folks who understand and accept that I might cry at a drop of a hat or can't talk about things at certain times without losing it. People who have not been through this would think I was a nut or that I am not fun to be around. Why aren't there groups out there (near me) like this? Or maybe there are and I am just not going about finding them correctly?

[mlg]

Rosemary,

Have you checked with the local hospitals, especially their hospice programs to see if there is anything like this? Our girief support is through the hospital and now that most of us have been there 6 mos or more we are starting to venture out a little. We talk and sometimes cry at our meetings but have recently gone out to eat twice, some of us went to the Muni and now several are going to see the Capitol Steps. We too realize that we need some socialization but are glad when there are people to support us if we have a bad time along the way. You don't want to move to Central IL do you? I know that "Mrs Charley" would advise against it but as someone who has always lived here I think it is great.

I know you say you want more than socialization but the Red Hat Society around here does a lot of the things you have mentioned and several of them are also widows.

I hope one of these suggestions helps and if not maybe someone else will have a better idea. Good luck.

[Rosemary T]

Great idea! I'll try it even though that is the hospital that I was in (emergency room) with Lou when he died so it might be hard going into the parking lot. Maybe I'll try a different Hospital!

Funny, you should mention Mrs. Charley in your post. I thought about her and when she said she was thinking about moving away.....I was thinking....I wish she would move to Orlando....I think we would be good friends!

In any case, I am in the later part of my career and cannot leave my job and even if I could.....I can't even spend a night away from home yet...so moving is out of the question for me right now.

I appreciate the advise....I will give it a shot.

Rosemary

[Guest Mrs.Charley]

mlg,

Oh my Gosh! I hope I didn't offend you or anyone as I was relating my feelings about this place I live? If so, my deepest apologies!

I have many reasons for not liking it here, some I have posted about, but there are many too painful to post right now. Please forgive me.

Rosemary,

I don't know if this link would be any help or not, but as I was reading your post I googled and found it-

http://www.flhosp.org/pastoralcare/communityresources.htm

I hope we can become friends, even if only long distance/online!

[MartyT]

Rosemary, see also How to Find Grief Support in Your Own Community

[Rosemary T]

Marty and Barb,

Thanks for the info. I will certainly check out everything. I will take my time before getting involved though.....I know me!

I do not take offense to anything posted here. Why? Because I so appreciate how no one takes offense to my ranting and ravings....but rather supports my right to grieve and feel whatever it is I need to.

If there is anything I am discovering in this forum it is that everyone has different ways of expressing grief and that all feelings regardless of how different they are, are OK! We also do not know all the different situations that each person here is in, so what may seem logical to one simply will not work for another. That is OK too.

[mlg]

Barb, you did not hurt my feelings. I can only imagine what it would be like to move to a small town and then lose your husband. I know what it is like in small town USA when half the people are related and everyone is somebody's friend.

Again, you did not upset me and don't worry about it. I hope that someday before you possibly move back to Texas that we might meet.