Misunderstanding - Husband's Family Did Not Reject Me

[KathyG]

Within the past few days, I received the best news I've had in a very long time: my husband's family still loves me and wants me to be part of their lives.

Since July, I've been hurt, angry and upset because my sister-in-law and her family dropped all contact with me; they never called, texted, wrote, etc. I couldn't understand why because I had done nothing to make them turn away. But I thought maybe they didn't want me around because it was too painful to see me without Bill. I was afraid to call them because my own relatives had shut me out and I didn't want to be hurt further.

Then a few nights ago, I had a very vivid dream about being at my sister-in-law's house and everyone telling me, "No we aren't mad at you. We never were!" The dream left such an impression that I wrote and mailed a letter to them, telling them what I've been up to all these months, how I've missed them and letting them know I hoped our relationship would continue, but if they didn't want it to, I would accept that and move on.

The next day, two birthday cards from Bill's family arrived. I decided maybe it was OK to contact them, so I called. And I found out that they do still consider me part of their family; they missed me too and were hoping to hear from me, but thought I was staying away because I needed time alone. We were all crying; lots of emotion.

I found out that they've had their own problems these past few months. My sister-in-law had orthopedic surgery that went wrong, had to have a second operation, and developed a serious infection in the main artery of one of her legs. She was incapacitated and in pain for weeks. They also found out that sister-in-law's granddaaughter has a learning disability and she had to undergo multiple medical tests and have remedial tutoring to avoid flunking. And Bill's nephews nearly lost their jobs; one did lose his but was able to find a new one.

Though we've been through a lot individually and collectively since Bill's ddeath, it's so good to renew our relationship. We've already started making holiday plans. Now that I know we were separated only by misunderstanding each other, I wish I had contacted them sooner. I guess the old saying is true: "When you assume, it makes an ass out of U and me."

[kayc]

Kathy,

I am so happy for your news! Now if only Jan and some others could have the same such news.

[leeann]

Oh Kathy this is awesome news! And I agree.. I too hope the others can have such good news too someday soon.

Enjoy making up for lost time and getting reunited!

leeann

[kath]

Kathy,

That is such good news! I'm proud of you for making the call. As you and his family are able to work through your grief, they'll be more open to talking about Bill and sharing stories. That will be good for all of you.

[carrieboo]

That is great news Kathy, misunderstandings like this occur so easily...its great you made the first step to contact them, now you can support each other. I wish I could say the same for my late fiance's family...but it was their choice and now I'm starting to realize I cannot change that.

stay strong.