Thanks

[dpodesta]

Hello to all of my HOV family.

I hope Thanksgiving went well. I thought I would take the time to post what I am thankful for. I know for some of you right now that is hard to think of. However I believe that when you are in your darkest moments, takig the time to think about what you do have to be thankful for really helps to get out of the funk. First and formost I am most thankful for the time I had with my wife. Even though our time was cut short, I am honored that I got to spend it with her and have a wonderful 9 year old son because of it. I am thankful for this site, I owe two things to this site. First becauase of this site, I have gotten to know a lot of you. We have helped each other through a very rough time in our lives. You all are like family and you all helped make life bearable. From the times where we have had serious discussions to where we have cut up and kidded with each other. I learned that it is ok to laugh again. The second is, that I have met the love of my life here. I can still remember when Wendy first joined this site and what she was going through. I didn't realize it the time but we were forming a connection with each other and until recently didn't put two and two together. Because of this site I learned that I can love someone again. I can give my heart to someone again and not feel bad about it. Because we both have lost our spouses, we understand each other and the important role that our spouse played in our lives. We will always be able to talk to each other about our spouse without feeling like we are making the other uncomfortable. So, please respond, think about what there is in life to be thankful for and hopfully it will help someone. We post so many times about the difficulties we have because of the death and I feel every now and then we need to post about the success we have in life. I know this next month will be hard for a lot of us. The holidays have been a depressing time for me for quite a number of years. We will pull together and hold each other up and we will get through this season.

I love you all like family.

Derek

[WendyJ]

Derek,

Like you I am most thankful of the time I had with Steve and the two beautiful daughters we have because of that love , I do feel bad that Melissa will not have her Dad to walk her down the isle now that she is engaged, but I am sure she will love to have you take on that responsibility. I am thankful for my wonderful family and that God heard all of our prayers for my mother and my grandmother when they both got very ill. I only hope he will continue to hear our prayers when we hear the results of her test on Monday.

I could not imagine where I would be right now if I had not found my family here, you all pulled me through my very rough times and for that I will always be grateful. I have made some very special friends here, like Corinne, Gail and my special William and my best friend Fred. I do know if I had not found this site I would not be he happy person that I am today. I have gone from coming to this site, a scared and lonely widow, not thinking I could make it on my own to the more confident woman I am today. Marty I have you to thank for starting this site, you are one special lady whom I owe my entire future to.

Derek nobody could be any more special to me right now than you, you are my whole world, my reason for living. God answered my prayers that weekend when I told him I no longer wanted to be without a special man in my life, within 2 days you and I realized we needed to pursue a relationship together and seemed to know immediately we were meant to be together and that we had a love that is so deep. Ironically at the same time Carson was praying for a new mommy, I just hope I can fill Karen's shoes for him. We have both agreed that this would be difficult because of the distance between us but we love our time together and have agreed that nothing or nobody will stand in our way..you and I and Carson will be a family very soon. I love you baby...so much !

Love Always,

Wendy

[MartyT]

My dear Wendy and Derek,

You will notice that I’ve moved your most recent posts to this New Beginnings Forum, which I think is more suitable for their content. I’ve done this in deference to those members who are in a different place with their grief, some of whom may find it difficult or even painful to read your personal expressions of love and affection for each other.

I believe that you both are operating with the very best of intentions: to convey to all our members the hope and belief that if the two of you can find love again, then others can do so as well ~ and because your hearts are so filled with joy and happiness, it’s understandable that you’d like everyone here to share in that joy and feel happy for you.

As I’m sure you know, however, our membership includes those who are very new to this experience of grief, as well as those who’ve been on this journey for a very long time. For many mourners, the idea of finding love again is simply unimaginable, and the invitation to share in another widow and widower’s joy and happiness at finding new love with each other feels somehow foreign and out of place. When we are very new to grief (or still deep in the midst of it), it is difficult if not impossible to imagine surviving our grief, much less transcending it or even feeling joyful and happy again.

To be sure, at some point in the grief process the time will come for many when we may feel ready to shift our focus away from the life we knew before and onto the life we are developing now. A number of us may have started already to put our lives together once again, and may be growing in important new directions. Some may even be thinking about establishing another romantic relationship, but have not a clue as to when, where, and how to begin.

This New Beginnings Forum was created especially for those who wish to discuss these and other related matters with one another, and that is where I encourage the two of you to share your experiences in this regard. If you (or any other of our members) wish to continue sharing your stories and your messages of encouragement and hope with the rest of us, by all means please feel free to do so ~ but I gently suggest to everyone that a more appropriate place for such posts would be in this New Beginnings Forum, rather than in the forum for Loss of a Spouse, Partner or Significant Other. That way, members who enter either of these forums will know better what content to expect, and won't be taken by surprise. Beyond that, if anyone feels the need to declare and / or reaffirm their personal feelings of love and affection for each other individually, it may be easier for our other members if that were done privately instead, via Personal Message, e-mail or other means.