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I lost my mother on Sept. 8'. 2008. I'm having a very hard time. I tuch care of my mother for all most 14 years. My mother and I move back to her house in Spe movet,2007. My younger brother live ther. He got her to kick me out in March of 2008. I moved in with 2 people who I through were my friends. It did not work. They did nothing but steal from me. I got a lawyer to break the least. I got to move out on Dec.13,2008. Than my car broke on Sept.23 and could not be fix. I had a nerves break down on Oct.1,2008. I was in the hospital till Oct.31. I got a new job on Nov.4,2008. My brother got the house and the apt. buliding. I got to take things out of the house. My Aunt die on Dec.21,2008. I have not gotten over my mothers dead and now my Aunt .My brother got the house and apt. bulding. I got to take what I wanted from the house. things are so bad I do not want to get out of bed or go to work. I just want to stay in bed and watch TV and Movie DVD. I can get DVD from Netflie. They come right to my mail box. I people to come over with food and I work at Jewel. I read 20 books about heaven since my mother die. Now I do not want to read any more. I have trouble reading my portals of pray, dialy bread and Bible. All I did is cried. I'm very lucky I found this web sit. I spend alot of time hear. I have trouble sleeping. It takes me along time to fall asleep. Than I sleep 1 or 2 hours and wake up. So than I go to this web sit. I need all the help I can get. Please prey for me. I lost over 100 lbs. before mymother dies. I gain it all back plus more. I just want to eat. People are always comming over with food. Thanks for any help you can give me.


Russell A. Wentzloff

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Russell, oh my God....you have so much....my heart really goes out to you. I don't know how youre' even dong as much as you're dong. I don't know what to say to you except please be with us....we can help. We've seen many things, and we can help...at least, we can know some of your pain. My dear friend, please hang on to whatever good feelings you may have....please try to eat okay, exercise, talk to whoever you can that can give you good ways to go....please come back here and little by little we can help you to push forward. Try, my friend, to take care of yourself.

Your friend, Karen :wub:

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Russell I'm so very sorry for the loss of your Mom and all of the problems you have experienced. Yes I agree with Karen.. I think you are doing pretty good for all that has happened.

Good that you read some books. I'm sure that helped you along. And now I *so* understand how praying can bring you to tears. That happened and still happens to me too.

Someone once told me that I didn't even really need words to pray... that God knew what was in my heart. And I hold on to that now when I can't pray.

You are an amazing person... to have gone through the hospitalization and then to come back.. get yourself a job already in these times.. That's NO small thing you have done! That's living and going on despite the pain. Good for you Russell! Keep at it.

Sometimes I have found that grief can be so overwhelming... that I need to distract myself away from thinking about it at times. I need to get outside or just OUT of my house.. even if just to take a ride or a walk and listen to some music. Or sometimes I work on a project.. like cleaning out a closet or making something.. even crossword puzzles or word searches... just to get my mind busy doing something else. I think we all need breaks from it sometimes.

So try doing ONE thing just for you a day that will let you put that grief back further in your mind if only for a little while. You have been through a very rough time. And I applaud you for getting through as well as you have.

Keep coming and reading and sharing here. We all help one another.


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HI Russel,

I too lost my mother, just Nov. 15 and my husband earlier this year on Good Friday March 21st.

I am sorry for your loss. Please keep coming here reading and posting if you like, do be too hard on

yourself. I lost so much weight taking care of my husband, his illness was 8 months long and he was

very ill, my mother was ill as well however she did not get as sick, she just went home after a stay in the

hospital even though she had cancer longer than my husband. They are together now. I had a difficult day

today just thinking about them. It is coming up on one year for my husband and not even 2 months for Mom.

This site has helped me so much at time I just come here and read, just knowing I am not alone helps.

And my friend you are not alone either, there is much care and love here. God has a plan for your life so please

take care of yourself and don't beat yourself up about the weight it will come and go. So please keep coming

back here reading, posting, crying whatever you have to do it is normal.....whatever that is.

I have you and everyone in my prayers daily so I ask that you also pray for me, together we can, alone we can't.

Russell take care of you as you greive.


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I haven't lost my mother, but I lost my husband, my father, my grandparents, a nephew, a niece, many friends, and years ago my mother-in-law, and I don't want any more losses. There are some good articles on this site to help you. When we've been a caretaker for a long period of time, we have, in addition to the loss, the lost sense of purpose, and it can be a huge adjustment. It takes time to redevelop our identity, so give yourself lots of time and grace and take care of yourself. We'll be here any time you need to talk.

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