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Valentine`s Wishes

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This may be a difficult day for many of us and like most of our grief experience, there may not be any words that will provide any comfort. With that understanding, I just wanted you to remember how much love you shared with the one you lost and to know how much you are loved by all of us here. We all had a relationship in which we shared a love many people will only dream of, we have been blessed. Now we have to live in the knowledge that we are loved, just in a different way. Would it be easier for any of you to share your remembrance of your favorite Valentine`s day? It is often not a big day for us guys, but I know that for many women (my wife especially) today was the greatest holiday of the year, and that made it very important for me too.

The most striking Valentine`s memory I have is of our first one together. Being a practical guy, I bought her some practical gifts and thought I had done well. She accepted them graciously and had something for me as well and then we went out to dinner. Later in the week she sat me down and explained the concept of Valentine`s Day to me. On this day a girl wants to receive gifts she can brag about with her friends; for her, she wanted flowers, or jewelry, perfume or even candy, but not something practical. It was a lesson I won`t forget.

(((Hugs))) and love to all!

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I remember my mom telling me about the year my dad gave her a new iron for Valentine's Day. Years later she told him the same thing your wife told you. Just saw on t.v a man gave his wife a scale that could also determine body fat numbers! My mom was really into Valentine's Day and we all got cards and fun gifts( candy, socks with hearts on them..etc). Thanks for reminding me of these happy memories.

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The funnest gift I gave my husband was on our first Valentine's Day together. We had just taken up cross country skiing and were renting a cabin in the Black Hills (South Dakota) for the weekend. I bought him a pair of wool knickers. As he led the way, I laughed harder than ever in my life as he could have been a clone of Benny Hill! It was the most comical thing I ever saw. But, he loved them and wore them regularly and the memory of that trip and the laughter is what I hold dear to my heart.

Bob wasn't into "Hallmark" holidays, so we usually 'agreed' not to buy gifts for each other as the years went on. Then, one year before he died, he surprised me with chocolate dipped strawberries and a dozen roses. It was such a big hit, he was giving advice to the guys at work! (Some actually had him go to the Chocolate Factory and buy them some so they could give them to their wives.) He was pretty proud of himself that year! So was I!

Thanks, Fred. It's easy to feel the sadness today. You reminded me of the joy.

(((((To all of you!)))))


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44 years ago today, My wife Jeannie, gave me a wonderful Valentine gift- Krista - our first daughter. She looks a lot like her Mom, so Jeannie is still with me today. :)

Four years ago Jeannie "hosted" our daughter's birthday party in the visitors' lounge of Palliative Care. I remember how happy she was to help Krista celebrate that day.

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You got the most special Valentine's gift of all! I'm glad you still have your Jeannie with you in your daughter. :wub:

I can honestly say that with George, every day was Valentine's Day. He showed his love to me each and every day he was in my life. I miss him more than words could ever convey...I was his "Little One".

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It's easy to feel the sadness today. You reminded me of the joy.


I wanted to highlight what you said here. When people ask if it gets better over time, if they will always feel the pain, it's hard to describe. Because the pain doesn't go away completely, and when you say that, to someone freshly bereaved, it's hard for them to imagine anything but the overwhelming pain they are feeling.

I just loved what you said here: "It's easy to feel the sadness today." I have never heard it put so well. I always feel sad that he is gone, but as time goes by, and when you have the happy memories, it becomes easier to bear the sadness, to carry it more lightly with me. I lost him 4 1/2 years ago, and I don't feel the constant, crushing pain anymore except on rare occasions. But I often feel sad, and I don't want to lose the sadness entirely, because it marks the love we had and the impact he had on my life, and it feels right that my life should have been changed when he died. Sadness feels right as a part of my life now. I have much joy and happiness in my life now, but the sadness will always be there, and that is okay with me. It's my new normal.



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