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Roller Coasters Of Grief


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Hi All,

Today I am very low, it is so very hard to know what is going to happen the next day... I think this weekend I am low because I have no mom and dad to help celebrate Easter with me... I have been on a high for the last two or three days but now it is a low again... Grief to me is just like riding a roller coaster some days are high and others are low just like going up a hill on a good day and down the hill on a low day....shelley

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Hi Shelly,

I lost my brother in January and lost both my parents many years ago. It is hard when the holidays come to find the joy in them. I am sure that your mom and dad would want you to enjoy the day. Do something you love doing. I am very sorry for your loss, you are right that Grief is a roller coaster and you have to expect that some days will be harded and some days easier.

Take care of your self and know you have special angels watching over you.

Patti

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Dear Shelley,

((((Hugs)))). I am sorry that the ticket unwillingly purchased today for your rollercoaster ride is such a low one. Holidays are certainly especially difficult, as we remember having celebrated them with our loved ones. I think that Patti's suggestion, to do something good for yourself today, is an excellent idea. :) Also, I think that maybe doing something special in honor of your parents - lighting a candle, or honoring Easter in ways particular to them, maybe going to a special place - might help. That way, you are acknowledging your grief and your loss, but also are able to take comfort in that you can still honor your parents' memory, and that your happiness is their happiness.

I hope that your next rollercoaster ride is a high one.

Take care,

Chai

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Hi Patti and Chai,

Thanks for your help, I did have a sort of low time at Easter but really liked your ideas about trying something that they did at Easter and doing something for me to look after me... Next year I am going to make a family Easter tree like my mom did when we were younger... Thanks again Shelley

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  • 1 month later...

I recently lost my 22 year old son, it will be a month tomorrow. I am on such a roller coaster from hour to hour. What disturbs me the most about this is that I am unable to really cry. I was a "crier" but now... I am the saddest I have ever been or will be (hopefully) but cannot cry! When I feel tears coming, I get nauseous or sometimes vomit.

I take anti depressants, could this be why I don't cry? I have nightmare, and such sad thoughts on waking, but no tears. I think about him all day, try to find answers as to why all day online, no autopsy results yet. It is hell. I think crying would be cleansing.

Has anyone experienced this?

Please help me.

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Dear Susannah,

I'm so very sorry to learn of the death of your beloved son, and I cannot begin to imagine the depth of your pain. I hope you will let the caring, compassionate people you'll find here wrap you in their embrace, and know that we will hold you in gentle thought and prayer, as you find your way through this most difficult journey of grief.

You ask, "why don't I cry?" and I was reminded of an article that appeared on the Open to Hope Foundation Web site. It's written by Bob Baugher ~ a wonderful author who, among other things, is a Psychology Instructor at Highline Community College in Des Moines, Washington where he teaches courses in Psychology and Death Education. The article is entitled, Mother Whose Daughter Died: Why Can't I Cry?. Just click on the title and you'll go right to it.

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  • 3 weeks later...
Hi All,

Today I am very low, it is so very hard to know what is going to happen the next day... I think this weekend I am low because I have no mom and dad to help celebrate Easter with me... I have been on a high for the last two or three days but now it is a low again... Grief to me is just like riding a roller coaster some days are high and others are low just like going up a hill on a good day and down the hill on a low day....shelley

I am so new at this, and I cannot stand this!!!! Mine is fresh, only 2 weekds since my MOm passed............the worst day of my life.......today I was an

absolute s***** day for me.........actually for the last 3 days.....can't seem to get it truned around...I feel all that you are..........

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  • 1 month later...

Hi Sherr,

I am so sorry for your loss, Yes it is true that grief is a roller coaster of emotions and yes it is also true that it does get better with time... You never forget your loved ones but you learn to cope with their deaths and start living again... You are not the same as before and in time things will work themselves out... God Bless You and I will keep you in my prayers and ask God to wrap His arms around you... Shelley

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