Am I Ready?

[kath]

I am just shy of the two year anniversary of Bob's death. It seems I miss him the most when I have major decisions to make. This is one, and I've made it, but need your prayers as I move forward. Just to re-cap, I lost my job 5 months after Bob died as I was unable to perform adequately while grieving. It took over a year to find new employment. I've been working for 3 months as a Parish Secretary and I love it. I am finally getting to know the processes and being surrounded by caring, faith-filled co-workers has been a real blessing to me. Out of the blue, a former employer contacted me. (Not the one that fired me.) He sold the company I had worked for and made millions. Now he is starting a new company and wants me to be the Office Manager. (I've heard from another supervisor I used to work with that he feels we were the reason for his success and he feels he owes us, as we would have been well paid if we had still been there at the time of the sale.) So, he's trying to re-build his team. There is a lot of potential, but a lot of extra duties and I'm not crazy about the drive. I'd left his employment during Bob's illness to be closer to home.

I have a lot of trepedation about leaving my current job, but the money they have offered is more than I could have ever asked for. With the two kids, I've been worried about how to pay for summer care while I am at work and this has answered that worry. I'll even be able to put some into savings. Within a couple of years, I should be at the same income I had with my spouse. Part of me feels like I'm selling my soul to the devil, going after the money (material things have not been a big priority, but I need my home) when I am happy where I am at. Well, I shared all this with the Parish Administrator and she put me on a leave of absence so I can return if things don't go well. (They like me - I like them.)

To me, this is unheard of and I am extremely grateful. I don't know if I have the energy, yet, to put into this new company. Please pray, that as the months unfold, a clear decision will be made for me. I feel like I am always starting over. It is exhausting. I want to be grateful for the opportunity being handed to me, but I am scared that it will cost me too much in time and energy.

Thanks.

[mlg]

You go girl and be happy. You are not selling your soul to the devil - you are providing for your family. Just don't let the new job be so consuming that you lose the "family" Don't let them take advantage of you and don't tell them the other job is waiting for you if this doesn't work out. Otherwise they may woo you until it's too late and then make things unbearable.

I'm glad that someone (and now 2) have made you feel so worthwhile.

[marsha]

Kath - girl, you must be good at what you do! My therapist says that anxiety is just the other flip side of excitement (or something like that!) If you do accept this job, I don't see it at all as going after "material things" - it's a financial prospect that would be a positive thing. But only you can make this decision in your heart to change jobs or not. I have no doubt you'll make the decision that will be best for you. You know I'm rooting for you, whatever you do. Love, Marsha

[kath]

Thanks to both of you. Mary Linda, you are terrific. You always give me a new way to look at things. Marsha, I don't think I'm that good, I just have been doing this for a very long time and I enjoy it. Thanks for being in my corner. Both of you are an immense help!

[kayc]

Kath,

I am so excited for you!!! You know we always feel anxiety and have doubts when we start something new, but these people have faith in you and they have good reason to! You aren't selling your soul, you've enjoyed working for the Parrish, just remember they are rooting for you as you try this new venture. It is wonderful that you are so able to provide for your family in a time when the economy is so bad and so many people are out of work. I bet Bob is so proud of you!

When do you start?

Love,

Kay

[kath]

Thanks, Kay.

I start next week. You're right about having anxiety when starting something new. Looking back, I was worried how I would do working full time. The parish was a really good place to ease back into it. It renewed my confidence. When I was trying to decide what to do, I naturally wondered what Bob would say, and I'm sure his answer would have been..."Take the new job, I'll quit mine and stay home with the kids." Yeah, he would have been pretty proud of his ole wife!

[kath]

I'm here, in the new job, and busy as can be. It's pretty exciting getting ready to release a new product and build this company from the ground up. The best thing is not having to get used to the personalities as I worked with these guys before. It is much easier pushing for answers and asking for what I need.

The move has put me right in the middle of my old stomping grounds. I'm a minute from where my grandma lived and is now buried. I drive past the house Bob & I lived in for 17 years. I can touch the bike trails we rode for miles and walked our dog. Bob's all around me there. And, as this month marks two years since his death, it is like everything...sometimes there is joy in the remembering, other times it brings sadness and tears.

[kayc]

Kath, I am so proud of you! You will do a great job and it will be great to your esteem to see yourself do it. Going by all the old haunts may be a bit challenging, I hope as time goes on it will bring comfort and it was all places you shared your joy together. Good luck to you on this new venture!

Love,

Kay