Just About The 4 Week Mark

[wolfman645]

Its just about 4 weeks now since my cat Oscar died and I thought I would check in to report how I'm doing

On the positive side, I am doing somewhat better. I'm eating normally again, concentrating on work and deriving some enjoyment out of various parts of my life.

I still miss Oscar something awful and think about him for a good portion of the day. I'm still somewhat depressed, but not so much that I can't function. I am still haunted by images of him going down hill the last week.

But here's the deal. I have come to some realizations. My first realization is rather bleak, but I believe this with all my heart. The realization is that yes, I can get on with my life without my beloved Oscar, however life will never be quite as good again. Life was better with him in it. Life is not quite as good without him. This doesn't mean I can't enjoy life and even live a happy life....its just the rest of my life will be sub-par. I'll just have to get used to it. I don't think anyone can talk me out of this belief.

Second, I am deriving some small amount of comfort in the realization that the relative short life span for Cats must be part of God's plan. One might even look at me as being blessed to have had such a strong connection with this cat, and to actually have him with me for close to 18 years. Its just emotionally, I felt as if Oscar would be with me for my entire life so at some level I feel cheated, even though I know this isn't the case at all.

Third, this experience has reminded me that we all have a limited time on this earth and need to make the most of each day.

Thanks for listening.

Andy

[Rameyw]

Andy,

Glad to hear from you and to hear that you are coping and doing better.

"The realization is that yes, I can get on with my life without my beloved Oscar, however life will never be quite as good again. Life was better with him in it. Life is not quite as good without him. This doesn't mean I can't enjoy life and even live a happy life....its just the rest of my life will be sub-par. I'll just have to get used to it. I don't think anyone can talk me out of this belief." I FULLY understand what you mean, this is how I feel without My Maria. I try very hard to love the horses I have and get back to how I used to be with horses but it's just not the same. I know I am still a good horseperson/trainer but my heart just isn't in it like it was when she was around.

"Its just emotionally, I felt as if Oscar would be with me for my entire life so at some level I feel cheated, even though I know this isn't the case at all. I just knew that Maria and I were going to grow old together and be "grumpy old women" together. I never dreamed she would be snatched away from me in just 8 short years. I try to console myself by saying that God sent her to me as a learning experience, I learned more about horses in those 8 years than I did in the 30+ years before she came into my life.

I hope you continue on the path you are on and once again be able to smile about your Boy, Oscar.

Hugs to you,

Kelly

[wolfman645]

Kelly:

Thanks for the kind words of encouragement.

I was wondering if you or anyone else has had a similar experience to what I am about to say.

The other night I went to go to bed and I heard what sounded like a very happy and soft version of Oscar's meow over my head and it felt like a paw touched my head. The only thing is when I looked up there was no cat on my head.

Oscar used to love to sleep above my head and would often knead my hair with his paws.

I'm sure this is just wishful thinking here, but has anyone had any similar experience to this?

Thanks,

Andy

[KevinS]

Hi Andy,

I had a similar experience a couple of days ago. When I was laying on my side in the bed, I felt pressure on my back. It was just the way it felt when my Tiger would lean up against me in the bed. After a minute I didn't feel it anymore and fell asleep.

I don't know what it was, maybe wishful thinking, but I definitely felt it.

Kevin

[MartyT]

Andy and Kevin, you may find this article of interest: Hallucinatory Experiences in Grief, http://www.griefhealing.com/article-haluci...es-in-grief.htm