Guest Vickie O'Neil Posted June 18, 2009 Report Share Posted June 18, 2009 I'll try to type concisely, my husbands Dog died on April 20th, & then my fatherinlaw on May 30th. The famous Johnny O'Neil. Pat my husband & his Dad were born 2 days apart...sent my brain in the spin cycle once again. Johnny was shy 5 months of being 90, but was shipped off to a nursing home on Pat's death..One would expect the inlaws to call me, but I heard through email from Pat's cousin in Texas. Pat< Johhny & I spent years together...I did rehash it all mentally & wailed! Pat took care of his Dad for 16 years.... If not for Pat's death, Johnny would have hit a 100 years old! Well that was up to God to say...but John was kicking pretty high when Pat got sick! They were working on the cabin & Pat had started an old fashioned Irish stacked stone fence.Pat was working his way around the 2nd story replacing siding with his wood shop tools, & Johnny had undertaken an endeavor on the foundation of the cabin...Pat built the frames, & they used stucco & rocks to fill it in...the distance between the land & the cabin.The very odd thing that happened on the day of John's death was my sister called me in the morning...wondering if it was a dream, or if I'd called her to telll her Johnny had died...she loved Pat & Johnny...well Johnny died that night. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Boo Mayhew Posted June 19, 2009 Report Share Posted June 19, 2009 VickieI am so sorry for your losses recently. Quite a few of us have lost dogs and cats recently and it all seems too much on top of losing our spouses. Added to this you have lost your father-in-law who sounded like a real character. I am so so sorry.It's very strange because I was saying to a friend yesterday that Fathers Day wasn't too bad for me because even tho my own Dad has died, I still have Cliff's Dad. And of course I feel a connection to Cliff through his Dad. To be honest, I dread the day that anything happens to him ... so feel for you today.Sending you hugsx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kayc Posted June 19, 2009 Report Share Posted June 19, 2009 Vickie,What you're going through is starting to put mine in perspective. I'm sorry for all your losses, I know it's really tough. I send you (((hugs))).Kay Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WendyJ Posted June 19, 2009 Report Share Posted June 19, 2009 I too am very sorry Vicki and sending some (((HUGS))) your way. I too have had many things happen since my husbands death so I do know how you feel, again I am very sorry.Love Always,Wendy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mlg Posted June 19, 2009 Report Share Posted June 19, 2009 Vickie, I am so sorry for your losses. I too lost the dog, that we had for almost half our married lives, last week. Even though I know she deserves the rest, my house is even more empty now.What is with in-laws? I can't understand how once you don't have the "connection", that you basically no longer exist and it's not necessarily from death. My brother in law just wiped out the "son" he had raised from age 7 to 27 after he got a divorce from his mother. David had even been considering changing his name before all this happened. I just don't understand how people turn their feelings off like a water faucet.Take care of yourself and know that we are always here for you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Vickie O'Neil Posted June 20, 2009 Report Share Posted June 20, 2009 Mary Linda, you hit the nail on the head! How do you turn off your feelings like a water faucet??? How does one go from being a part of a family for 13 years & an in law to an Out Law? My own family mourned my father in law, he was always an honored & well respected guest at our family get togethers. Maybe they just pretended & suffered my presence that they liked me...I don't know! Making a one year obligatory visit is really not the same as being there for an old man.I do know this, Pat & I were there for his Dad over many years time...when the inlaws were absent. They had their own St. Patrick's day party's. Pat & Iwere spending time with Johnny. Cooking, washing dishes, watching the Lawrence Welk Show...& listening to his stories. Pat & I were there for Johnny, even when Pat was so ill. The last road trip we made where Pat could could drive was to visit his Dad for Thanksgiving & cook for him. The last road trip Pat made alone was the month prior for his Dad's birthday.I heard Johnny's funeral was well attended, I was not invited and left out of the obituary...but all the inlaws showed up...which is sorry. Show up for the Living!!! Nevertheless Johnny was buried next to his 1st wife, Pat's Mom, & a ceremonial folding of the flag, the bagpipes were played, he was buried in his favorite Irish Green sweater, & apparently the vault they put his casket in was green & gold...so I'm sure Johnny would have loved that!My little prayer is, Please God, no more deaths...I dislike superstition, but they always come in 3s. I can't handle another death. Thank you for all your good thoughts for me.Vickie Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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