Women Only?

[azusaman]

In looking at all the responses on this "loss of spouse" forum, I just realized that I think I'm the only male on this forum. Does that make me a wimp for discussing my feelings about my loss? Anyone have any thoughts about this and why?

[JeanneC]

Azusaman:

It absolutely does not make you a wimp. In fact, it shows how much your loss means to you. I notice that we have many new members on this site, since I have joined last July, 08. We used to have quite a few men on this forum. I guess they feel they have healed and moved on. Women always feel that men do not have a sensitive side to them and after I joined here, I see differently. I know if it was my husband that had to go through this, I think he would have taken it much harder. It is great that you can share you feelings with all of us and that maybe we can be of some help. So hopefully you do not stop posting.

Love and God Bless,

Jeanne

[WaltC]

In looking at all the responses on this "loss of spouse" forum, I just realized that I think I'm the only male on this forum. Does that make me a wimp for discussing my feelings about my loss? Anyone have any thoughts about this and why?

You are definitely not a "wimp"! As one of the few men on this group I can attest to the help and understanding that I have found here.

As Martha Hickman writes in today's reading from "Healing After Loss":

"When a writer describes for me how I am feeling, she or he becomes my friend; I am not alone."

I have met many such friends here. I hesitate to comment, because after 54 months without my spouse (following over 40 years of marriage) I still have not "healed or moved on". Some others do find peace and live "happily ever after", but others resolve to just "hang in there" until we can be with our loved one again.

Keep posting your comments - it helps you and others who read here.

[Maryo]

Hi Azusaman,

I think it takes great courage for females and males to be open about their feeling and to be able to share it with all of us.I have found great comfort from this site.

Take care.

Mary Lou

[singledad2]

Hang in there Azusaman. There are more of us out here than you realize. I've not posted as much over the past 6 months or so, but the support of the people on this site helped me through that very rough first year. Oftentimes, I just read the posts and replies, and am thankful that the members of our group have such a place in which to turn.

We're all here for each other. Drop any one (or all of us) a post any time you feel the need.

SD2

[PaulaB.]

I think whatever helps you at the time is the most important thing. It really doesn't matter where or who it came from. It may seem unimportant to someone else, but it may mean the world to you, and that's all that really matters right now.

[Korina]

You are definitely not a wimp. Everyone deals with grief the best that they can, and if sharing and reading on this forum helps, male or female, it is a strength for your own personal grief work, not a weakness. I believe if you hold your feelings in and do not find a way to express them (that does not hurt others), they will eat away at you. So keep on posting/reading as long as it helps.

Korina