How Long Do You Feel Numb

[bam]

My husband of almost 47 years passed away 9/10/9. I feel completly numb. I feel like I'm going to wake up and this is going to be a dream a bad dream. He should be walking in the door any time now. When will it sink in that he is gone forever? I have not moved anything. His cloths are still in the same place. Will this just hit like a ton of bricks or what.

Bam, Arizona

[LindaKoz]

Hi Bam,

From what I've read the stages of grief are different for everyone. I lost my fiance on 9/23. The first two weeks passed because I was numb and my mind tricked me into thinking that Brian would come home, that he really wasn't gone forever. Slowly the reality of this loss has been sinking in but not totally. I really don't have any words of wisdom because my loss is fresh and new. But, perhaps we can walk through this valley together because I understand. That's the reason I joined this group. I can express my pain and angst and others will just know what I'm feeling.

My heart really goes out to you. Remember to breath, eat when you can, and take care of yourself. I wish that I had a magic forumla to make all the pain go away. But, we loved so much which I guess makes the loss so great.

Peace, love, and blessings to you.

Linda

[Korina]

Bam:

Everyone feels things at different times, I think. For me, at 4 months, it now seems more real, that my Scott is not going to walk through the door. The numbness at first simply morphed to desparate grief, to anger, to sadness, to loneliness, not necessarily in that order. The best advice I have seen here is that we just have to go with the feeling of the moment, experience it, concentrate on getting through that moment, that day. And, of course, try and eat. You may not feel like it, but try. For me, getting outside for a walk with my baby daughter gave me a goal for each day. And I am finding now that painful reminders of my love, while they still cause pain, also bring comfort.

I am truly so sorry for your loss.

Korina

[mrspapajohn]

Bam - - I am so sorry for the loss of your husband. I, too, was numb for quite a while. I don't remember anything of the services and funeral except that a very young soldier came up and handed me a folded American flag. My husband was a Vietnam veteran and although his service was almost 40 years ago, there was still a contingent to honor him and give me a flag. Stephen died nine months ago and there are still times when I can't believe it. I expect to see him sitting on the couch and smiling up at me, happy that I've come home, every time I walk in through our door. What I can tell you is that very raw pain will turn to sadness and as time goes by, it seems that we gain more control over our outward emotions. I am so grateful for this site. Because of it, I know that I do not have to travel this awful road by myself. We are all traveling it together and we are all here for each other. Please keep posting and let us know how you are doing.

Kathy

[mlg]

Don't try to put a time frome on it because each of us is different and you will only cause yourself more grief. Just take every second, minute, hour, breath at your own speed. Just come here for ((((((HUGS)))))) and understanding because it is one of the few places you will get true understanding.

Hang in there.

[deborah ogren]

My husband of almost 47 years passed away 9/10/9. I feel completly numb. I feel like I'm going to wake up and this is going to be a dream a bad dream. He should be walking in the door any time now. When will it sink in that he is gone forever? I have not moved anything. His cloths are still in the same place. Will this just hit like a ton of bricks or what.

Bam, Arizona

Hi there Bam,

It is a long journey when you have lost someone that you love. Your body will be numb for awhile,because right now you are in shock, the mind has away of doing this to us. It does feel like a dream or a bad dream that we just can't wake out of it. It is like a fog, you are in the early stage right now. Greving doesn't have a timeframe on it. The emotions come and come, sometimes that is different for others. My parnter of 25 years is coming on 7 month on the 19th. I still feel numb at times, my mind knows that she has passed, but the heart hasn't connected yet. The one thing I realize is LOVE IS LOVE!!! I still expect her to walk in the door everyday, it will just take time and we become stronger. I have good days, and bad days. Let this website and the people wrap there love around you. Remember that you aren't alone we are there to help you in any way. Be kind to your self,eat,try to sleep, and keep posting here.Let us know how you are doing. I will say a pray for you.

Deborah (Phoenix)

[marsha]

Bam - I think the numbness that we've all experienced is a kind of protection from the trauma of what we've experienced. The suggestions here are solid - emotions will come up, and go, and it's a matter of understanding that what you're going through is normal. Right now, please just take care of yourself as gently as you can - drink a lot of water, try to sleep and eat, and know that you have support here. Hugs, Marsha

[Maryo]

Hi Bam,

I am sorry for your loss. After 47 years you must have many beautiful memories that will help you on this grieving journey.Just take one day at a time and don't try to accomplish to much in the beginning.

Take care.

Mary Lou