In Memory Of The Ones We Love So Much

[Babs11]

Whether it is New Years, Christmas, Valentines Day, Your Birthday, Their Birthday, Anniversaries or just another day.....I wish you all, "One Day, One Hour, One Minute" of feeling like your "Usual Self" where you beamed just because you were in Love and your life felt complete....When time was on your side....Not today but everyday I hope you are able to spend it without feeling loss and grief...;

...so here is to...Yesterday...Today...and Tomorrow...

......A Toast to the beautiful Rainbow you and your partner have created...A toast to the bonds that You have created and will carry with You to the next level where you will be able to continue to build upon..

Best of Luck...and know so many people care...and they care about "Who" your missing the most on this day and forward...

Love and Peace,

Babs.

***To the Beloved Ones who are not "Physically" here with us on this night. "We Love you, We Honor You and We Cherish your Love for Us and All that you have Done", "Thank you" and "God Bless", "Love and Peace Forever through-Eternity".xxoo.***

[Sharon3]

good message and toast for us tonight .......while I have lots of wishes for us I also wish that our spouses know how much we loved them and miss them and what they meant to so many people. My husband died suddenly in his sleep from a massive heart attack and there were no goodbyes and I struggle with that.

[jrm]

Thank you Babs for that wonderful toast. I'm dancing to "Have I Told You Lately That I Love You" Duke was supposed to live. The motorcycle accident injured us both, but they said he would be alright. Just after midnight the next day he died. I was in the next room all that time thinking he'll be alright, sending everyone in there to tell him "I Love Him" Never did I think a clot would strike his heart. I'm having such a hard time dealing with this.

[Maryo]

Thanks Babs,

for the lovely toast. I wish for peace and comfort and for less tears and more smiles.

Happy New Year to all.

Mary Lou

[kath]

Thank you, Babs, for the wonderful thoughts this new year. Knowing we were loved is a great feeling to hold onto. I was at the wedding reception for a friend last night and as people were urging me to line up to catch the bouquest, I looked at all the "young" women there and said they are the ones "that deserve a chance at love. I've had it and it was good."

Kath

[Babs11]

Sharon,

I am so...sorry to hear that..and it was startling because my husband also died of a massive heart attack..He was sick all day...walked our dog...laid down..and passed...I know exactly how you feel...My guilt is the thought, "If we had gone to the hospital, would he have lived"? It is so unreal..

...I don't know much about anything right now..almost everyday has been a struggle in so, so many ways..things just keep going wrong!!!

...I do know that "They Know" how much we love them and miss them..they do know...If there was ever a doubt there is not one now...they absolutely do know how much we loved and continue to love them...

I really am sorry that you are experiencing this whole thing...I say it to so many people when I hear of their loss and pain and all the other feelings coming with it...I honestly do not wish Anyone to feel this...it is so hard..

Thank you for your kind words, they mean so much to me.

Love and Peace,

Babs.

[Sharon3]

Thanks Babs.....I was telling a friend on the phone today that I don't recall a day that I have woken up that my first thought has not been of the nightmare of my husband passing away in bed, on vacation in Mexico, at 1:00 in the morning....I believe there is always some guilt associated with death but I think maybe if we had been at home this wouldn't of happened, maybe maybe maybe....so I understand your guilt as well but I guess we have to believe it was God's plan. I am not anywhere near memories bringing me peace, or looking at pictures and remembering the good times, I am locked in the tragedy and can't get out. As my counsellor describes it...we move in and out of the grieving stages, there is no process so it is hard to identify any progress...one foot in front of the other. I wish people could see what we need ....it is so exhausting and takes so much energy to be around these people who think if they don't talk about it, it will all be ok. I am going to try and find one thing every day to be grateful for.....today I am grateful for this forum.

[kath]

Dear Sharon and Babs,

Being fixated on the last moments, days or even weeks was all I could do for several months. It was like none of the other 27 years even happened because I couldn't see past the ending. It takes a great deal of time and energy as your mind tries to wrap around the horror of it, but there will be a day when your memories are more encompassing than that. Keep posting and sharing. I (like many others) am praying for you during this most awful time.

Kath

[Sharon3]

Thanks Kath I appreciate your comments and look forward to that day.

[Babs11]

Thanks Kath,

I am the kind of person (and I guessing from all of your entries that you are all also) that would swerve and go off the road to avoid hitting an animal, or feeling guilty if you did) so not to be able to help someone is horrible. The problem that I have is that my husband laid in bed for a "while" before he was found...If I just didn't go to work that day and insisted that he go to the hospital...I didn't even know he was that sick because it progressed through the day and he never told me.. so when I did see him the last time was not good...I was not prepared, I had no idea..that just couldn't be my husband...and it wasn't he was gone and had been for awhile...

Sharon...I can't believe you were on vacation in Mexico? The sun, the fun and being together and that is how it ended for you...I don't even know what to say to this...I am just so sorry.

You know "Everyone" what also makes me feel sad? This site has probably been around for awhile and so many people with so many stories and pain were on it and It never crossed my mind when "All was good" that for so many others it wasn't... I read papers, I know of different situations but now to read entries from people across the world that go through this life alteration and I was no where to be found to offer support. It makes me realize I lived in "my own little world".. I am a kind person who thrives to help others but because of my own devastating grief have been taught that I am a small fish in a very big "Ocean" and it is ok.

[Korina]

Thank you for the beautiful post.

[Sharon3]

I truly believe, as I am sure many of you do, that there are many lessons to be learned through such grief as there is through every major event in our life and some of the small ones too. I know when our son got married 2 years ago, I said, "I will be such a better guest when invited to weddings"...because then I knew the anguish that many go through making sure they include everyone they care about to share in such a special day that I never considered before. My son and I attending a funeral yesterday for a friend who was 61. My son was very good friends with her daughter. I was sure to write personal comments in the card because, quite frankly the obligatory cards with just a signature that I received when my husband passed away were useless to me, while the others made me realize how special my husband was to so many people. It is so sad attending funerals, but especially yesterday, when it was too much for my son to endure. I think it was the only time in this grieving process that I was able to help him and actually see how vulnerable he is and how sad he is without his Dad...it was another yet another lesson. There is probably a book in all of us!!

[DeeGee]

kath: Thank you for this - "Being fixated on the last moments, days or even weeks was all I could do for several months. It was like none of the other 27 years even happened because I couldn't see past the ending. It takes a great deal of time and energy as your mind tries to wrap around the horror of it, but there will be a day when your memories are more encompassing than that."

DeeGee