Married

[jrm]

Just wondering if everyone feels the same as I do? When filling out simple forms do you check off "Married". I went to a new hair salon and needed to fill out a simple form. Well sure..didn't it ask Single/ Married...yes as far as I'm concerned I'm still married to my wonderful Duke for 41 years now. Still this brought tears to my eyes. Then when I got in the chair, with conversation starting, the stylist said "so what does your husband do?" She doesn't know he's gone, and it's not my choice to make her uncomfortable. "He's a retired police officer" Thankfully we moved on to a new topic.

[DeeGee]

Oh, jrm, I know exactly how you feel. I've had to have surgery and filling out all the forms required me to list "Widow/er" several times. I hated it.

And in the few new situations I've found myself in, I avoid talking about my "marital status". Just still too raw, I guess.

[Kat2005]

jrm

When Social Security sent me the letter stating that Pat's disability benefits would be ending I remember the last line reading "Marriage ended in Death". I never once thought about my marriage ending until I read those words. I still thought I was still considered married. In my heart he is still my husband and I am his wife.

Kat

[Korina]

I glanced at my wedding and engagement rings walking home today, and pretended for a moment I was going home to Scott. I certainly don't consider myself to be single, other than in the sense of being a single mother. On any kind of marital status, it would be widowed. Sigh.

[jrm]

Tim, All of us will always be married. Yes, Duke and I were married 40 years before his death July 8th. I can't believe 6 months have already passed for me. Like all of us here at the forum, there are good days, better days, and worse days, but the days I try to remember are the wonderful days we both spent together, especially since 2000 when we took early retirement. One thing I always told him is "the best part of the day is waking up beside you" This has been the hardest part of every day since July 8th. God Bless Jude

[jrm]

I glanced at my wedding and engagement rings walking home today, and pretended for a moment I was going home to Scott. I certainly don't consider myself to be single, other than in the sense of being a single mother. On any kind of marital status, it would be widowed. Sigh.

Korina, How about sending us some picture of that baby girl!!!!! God Bless Jude

[jrm]

jrm

When Social Security sent me the letter stating that Pat's disability benefits would be ending I remember the last line reading "Marriage ended in Death". I never once thought about my marriage ending until I read those words. I still thought I was still considered married. In my heart he is still my husband and I am his wife.

Kat

That is SO LIKE SOCIAL SECURITY. How cruel! I get $227 from Duke's Social Security. They wrote me and said they had paid him $120 too much so they were deducting $120 from my $227 in January, 2010. You know what I wanted to tell them..... Stay strong Kat Jude

[mlg]

I too have problems with this. I would however rather check widow than single. Unless forced to as with an income tax return I will always check married. I still wear my wedding ring and had his cut down and put it on first and then mine. I feel it often especially when I am talking to him.

[Korina]

Korina, How about sending us some picture of that baby girl!!!!! God Bless Jude

Love to! Here are a couple from November/December.

Korina

[Korina]

I too have problems with this. I would however rather check widow than single. Unless forced to as with an income tax return I will always check married. I still wear my wedding ring and had his cut down and put it on first and then mine. I feel it often especially when I am talking to him.

Scott's wedding ring encircles a pendant he gave me and I wear it always on a chain, close to my heart.

Korina

[JohnG]

Six days after Krystal died I was driving my parents back to the airport when it all of a sudden hit me that at 45 years old I was now a widower, a term I had always associated with much older men. I started laughing at the absurdity of that and when my Mom asked what was so funny I asked did you ever think your son would be referred to by that term. She sadly shook her head and said no, never. I use the term officially on forms just to avoid bureaucratic trouble but I don't really use it any other time, single is usually what I use which doesn't really bother me. I seem to have gotten past the still being married/wedding ring problem. It seemed natural to progress through that quickly.

[jrm]

Oh Korina I see how she's the one to get you through each day. To wake up or rather "be woken up to those beautiful eyes" would certainly make my day even at 62 y.o. My granddaughter Danica was with me today (age 23 months) and we exercised to Jillian Michaels (Whew what a work out) She took my hand again when her Mom came and said "Nona exercise????" She's our only grandchild and I am blessed after having three sons to have a girlie girl. I cry when she leaves though I know Duke was watching every moment. He would always say "YOU ARE SO BEAUTIFUL" So I need to know what your daughter's name is AND the cat, too.

[Korina]

Oh Korina I see how she's the one to get you through each day. To wake up or rather "be woken up to those beautiful eyes" would certainly make my day even at 62 y.o. My granddaughter Danica was with me today (age 23 months) and we exercised to Jillian Michaels (Whew what a work out) She took my hand again when her Mom came and said "Nona exercise????" She's our only grandchild and I am blessed after having three sons to have a girlie girl. I cry when she leaves though I know Duke was watching every moment. He would always say "YOU ARE SO BEAUTIFUL" So I need to know what your daughter's name is AND the cat, too.

Kailyn is our daughter, who will be 1 year old on Feb. 4. Pootie-tang is our kitty, whom Scott totally fell in love with about 30 seconds after we got her from the shelter (and he a self-proclaimed dog man - he said Pootie was his old dog reincarnated...!). Scott named her after a Chris Rock character - we both laughed uproarously at that silly movie. We also have another kittie, a younger fellow named Bandit, who most definitely lives up to his name. I tried to attach a couple more photos, but the computer doesn't like me tonight.

Korina