My Sister Died Today

[Elaine M]

Hello Everyone, I have been on this site before, to grieve my pet Rocky, 1/15/10 and my Dad 10/04/09 so with heavy heart I am grieving my sisters death today from a 6 yr battle with cancer She was 68 on Jan 10th. She struggled with colon cancer, spreading to uterine, and liver, and the last two years her lungs, she gave a good battle and leaves a son. His dad died in 1978 at the age of 35.

So I am crying for my dad, and crying for my cat, Rocky, who was a terrific comfort and friend during this time and now I am grieving my only sister. So here I am No more connections no one left. I again have to take charge and help my nephew with the process. I am not that strong. I am still grieving and it is cummulative. Although, my dad was 90 when he passed and a pistol, my sister was an angry woman because she was left a widow at 35 with an 8 year old child, she never got over that and let everyone know it for 32 years. I loved her and had a hard time with her because what ever i did I felt criticized for it and felt she was jealous over my good fortune, that is husband and children and fairly good life. I could hardly visit her this last year she was so difficult, I believe because everyone else or so she thought was healthy and happy and she was sick. I am sorry for a sister that i never had. A sister that i would do things with and someone to talk to. She only want to give me orders. I felt that I, 10 years younger than her, had to take on all the family business. I take care of my dads home, his funeral details, his insurance, his life insurance, Va Insurance, taxes, getting home rented, everything, everything, not to mention my husband, 2 kids, a custom home building business working as a realtor and parttime sales, and just trying to have personal time. Now I will help her son with hers, he has no Idea what to do. I will help gladly with a heavy heart.

I am drained, I am a walking zombie, My husband said he was tired of the snow, What Snow? I have been in limbo and dont remember Dec, Jan, or Feb

I dont know where I am half the time missing exits, appointments, work, I am empty. I have no feelings. What am I going to do. Where will I get the strength to go on. Does anyone know where I am?

I don't. Elaine

[MartyT]

Elaine, I'm so very, very sorry that you've endured so much pain. But you are not alone and you are not lost. You are right here with us, my dear, right here where you belong . . . Sit here with us, put your weary head down, and rest a while.

[mlg]

Just breathe and eat (even if it's just a little) for today, it's all about you and no one else. You have to give yourself some room to grieve. You can help your nephew tomorrow because for him, it should be all about him. You can cling to each other tomorrow and walk at least part of this road together.

[DoingMyBest]

I'm so sorry for the loss of your sister. Whatever the past issues have been, you still shared a special bond, and I can imagine how empty you feel to be "the last one standing." I wish I had more to offer than the confidence that, somehow, you'll push through the numbness and get it all done, but I don't. Nonetheless, I'm quite sure you will somehow manage to push through, and that will be the miracle of your gift to your sister and her son - whether they have any awareness of it or not. I do think, in this case, it is definitely the thought that counts, so give yourself credit for doing what you can even when it feels like empty motions.

[PeggySue]

Elaine,

I too am grieving the loss of my sister who died Feb. 26th of this year. I traveled from Ohio to be with her the last week of her life. She had fought cancer for over 10 years of various sorts.

She was amazing and lived at least 2 years longer than expected. My heartfelt sympathy is with you, even in the best situations losing a sibling is so hard. When there are circumstances beyond your control there is just a lost feeling. I struggled with being so far away from my sister. We were close in spirit but miles separated us physically. I know even though things were difficult, you are dealing with a tragic loss. You are like I am, the backbone of the family that "takes care of everything." Well, please don't forget to take care of yourself now. That is what I am trying to do right now and not always doing a great job of it. I lost one of my young pets right after my sister died as well. He was one of our young cats (1 1/2 years old) and died the day after I got back very unexpectedly. Our vet feels he probably had a blood clot that no one was aware of and it broke loose and killed him. We have three cats now and a dog. I am also trying to do my best with my almost 89 year old mother as well, this is of course a very difficult loss for her. My sister was 66 years old when she passed away, much too young.

Please know that you are not alone.

[Elaine M]

Thanks Peggy and everyone who is thinking of me

I just came home from the funeral parlor It was satisfying to know I helped Bill yesterday and we are through the first day. My sister looked rested and peaceful. My husband and children were there and a comfort. I am sorry Peggy that you lost your sister also. Being separated by miles is difficult. I lived in NC for 5 years while my dad and sister lived here in MD. So I am familiar with long distance worry.I am also so sorry to hear about your pet, so sudden. My Rocky was hit by a car he would have been 2 on March 27th. He was my comfort, my companion. I still feel guilty letting him out. I miss him. I miss my dad, and now I am missing my sister. My life has truly changed. Since I am the last one, I am confused and dont know what dirction I should go. I am so use to taking care of children, my dad and my sister, I am sort of lost. The caregiver with no one to care for.

Elaine