My Little Brother Died Last Night

[Sally]

I can't believe it. My brother just turned 51 on February 4. On February 26 his wife called us and told us he was in ICU with ARDS from pneumonia (it seems he had H1N1). He was in there for a month, and I went to see him twice. I thought he was getting better, but he suddenly took another turn for the worse and was gone last night. I am full of so many emotions and so sad for him, his wife, his kids. We have lost our father, mother, and a nephew and now our brother! I have two other brothers and a sister who are all down in South Carolina now. I had to stay here because I had to turn my grades in (I teach at a local college). I feel really guilty for not going down there again.

[MartyT]

Sally, dear, I know I speak for all our members in extending our deepest sympathy for your loss. This death of your "little brother" surely comes as a shock, especially when you've endured so many significant losses in your family already, and I can only imagine how overwhelmed you must feel. I am so sorry. Please know that we are thinking of you and holding you close in thought and prayer at this sad and challenging time.

[Matt's Sister]

My little brother died on Friday 03/26/2010. He was 28 years old and had only been in the hospital for 8 days. Like your brother, the doctors are thinking that he had H1N1 but we won't know for sure until the autopsy results come back. It is just surreal. We all thought that he would get better. But the pneumonia would not get better and modern medicine was not helping. The hardest part is thinking how it all had to end. He had been hooked up to a ventilator in a medically induced coma then shortly after placed on an oscillator and paralyzed the week that he died. It just hurts my heart to think of the suffering his body endured. And it hurts so bad that I wasn't there to speak to him before they placed him on a ventilator.

I have been trying to make peace with all that has happened but the sadness and grief sometimes just takes over. So I grieve and I pray that Jesus help me through this because I can't go through this alone. My mom and (other) brother try to stay strong for me but my friends and my husband don't know what to say or what to do. I try to keep it together when my son is with me but sometimes I can't hide that I am mourning.

The helplessness that me, my other brother and mother felt during that time in the hospital ICU was overwhelming so I had to give my cares and worries to God. The only thing that is getting us through this is our faith. My brother has a personal relationship with Jesus and I know without a shadow of a doubt that he is okay and that we will see each other again one day. I am not sure why his life here on earth was cut so short or what God's plan is; but my hope is that somehow God be glorified. I feel this way because of the peace and assurance I have in knowing that my brother lives; because of Jesus' death and resurrection we now have the promise that even though our body dies we will still live (John 11:25).

I lost my dad (age 60) on 06/11/08. Dad had been sick for awhile and I wasn't ready to let him go either but with time it is getting easier and I know it will get easier to cope with the loss of my sweet brother; but it is so hard and I am just taking it one day at a time.

Take Care.

[eldersister]

I too lost my brother to H1N1. It has been four months since his death, he was hospitalized for over 3 monthson a vent. It has been the most horrible ordeal to watch him die like that. I truely understand your pain, and share in your sorrow.

[tmanning]

Hi Sally i'm new to this and unsure how to use, but my younger sister died of ARDS brought on by H1N1 influenza/pneumonia. She was 27 and healthy before all this happened, a second grade teacher. She spent seven weeks on a ventilator in an ICU in Louisiana, and we all rode the rollercoaster of good days, bad days, getting better, getting worse, hopeful one minute and then griefstricken the next. She went on the vent March 11th and died April 28. I know I can't know exactly what you are going thru, but please know that your post here helped me this morning, just to know someone who lost someone to similar circumstances, and that your feelings of guilt, while normal, are unwarranted and false. I'm sure your brother knew how much you loved him and that he loved you back in kind. My sympathies and condolences to you and your family.

[tmanning]

Matt's sister,

Deepest sympathies on the loss of your precious brother. My sister also had ARDS caused by H1N1 and was on the ventilator for seven weeks. She lost her battle on April 28, 2010. The hurt and sense of loss is more overwhelming with each passing day, as well as the shock and feeling of senselessness that this happened to a young and previously healthy person. I too had a moment when I had to leave her bedside and go to the chapel and just lay all the worry, hurt, anguish and fear at the foot of the Cross and leave it there. That did help me for a little while, but ...I don't know, every day since her death is harder and harder, and I cry now, just going about daily activities, even when not particularly thinking of her, she just pops into my mind and I'm in tears. I think we are all still in shock and I am so impatient and anxious for this severe hurting to just be over!