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Life Without Him Will Always Be The Same.

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With all due respect to anyone who is healed, healing, or willing to be healed due to their grief I know in my heart of hearts that life without Dan sucks really big time and it will always suck until the day I die. I have posted my thoughts, feelings, and questions, and the fact remains that the only thing I know for sure is without my husband, Christian though I am, life sucks without him.

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Dear Suzanne

I totally agree with what you have said about this situation and eight months later, I'm still in the deepest, darkest place on the inside and feeling that 'recovery' is pretty impossible. I miss the feeling of just being happy in life. I didn't take it for granted and we cherished our time together and with family and friends(32 years married) but that makes me even sadder.

What I struggle with is, if I'm going to be here for 2, 10, or 20 years more, what can I do to make my life better. He had such a positive view on life and I know he would expect me to try to make a life without him. And I am trying to work towards that, because frankly, and as you clearly know, it's almost unbearable like this.

No answers so far - I'm just filling in time and hoping, but I do know that I am now back at work, am doing things that were impossible months ago and starting to be a bit more forward thinking, even if I don't look forward to anything anymore!

It is so very hard when it seems like everything that made me the person I was, went with him. I won't ever be the same but I have come to the conclusion lately that I have to try to find some place in life that's OK for me.

I guess that means I am slowly starting to fall into the 'willing to try to make my life at least bearable' category.

What other choice is there?

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I'm sorry you're having a hard time...I'm not sure that "healed" ever totally enters in, more like "got used to what is", but I do know what you're saying. It takes a great deal of determination to go on with this altered life.

It reminds me (I inherited my dad's warped sense of humor as opposed to my mom's rage of tears), I always said, "Life sucks and then you die!" It was meant to be in humor but unfortunately, sometimes it's how it really feels for a lot of us.

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In Scott's words, "This sucks donkeys." It felt like that 10 months ago, and still does. However, I am settling somewhat into my new reality, mainly because I have no choice. I will always miss Scott, my soulmate, but I owe it to my daughter to be here for her.

Take it one day at a time, one moment at a time - this has gotten me through to now.



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