How Do You Help Someone With Grief?

[ocegrand]

My mother passed away in March - I am doing okay however by step father is 87 and has changed completely. He was a man who no one believed he was that old - did not walk, act, look, ran bingo for his community (sometimes 200 per week), did the state reports, played golf three times a week - was amazing. He now is confused on days, appointments, has trouble buttoning his shirt - it goes on and on. Everyone is telling us it is grief - and being 87 he is of the generation that to cry is a sign of weakness. He was never a very emotional person - bought my mother beautiful cards but very rarely would say he loved her. His internal medicine doctor did a short test for dementia and alzheimers and he passed. We live 875 miles away and have been down several times but I guess my question is has anyone seen these types of changes and how did you help them? Thanks to all who reply. We are looking into assisted living because we don't feel it is now safe to leave him alone. He is going to come to our home for a month - thought maybe a change of scenery would be good.

[MartyT]

Dear One,

I'm so sorry for the loss of your mother, and I commend you for your concern for your stepfather's welfare in the wake of this death. There are many resources available to help you as you reach out to help him; many of them are listed on the Caregiving page of my Grief Healing Web site, and you'll find them here: http://www.griefheal...iving-links.htm

See also Helping Someone Who's Grieving, http://www.griefhealing.com/helping-the-grieving.htm

[loulou]

I have nothing to say that will help.I just wanted to say that you sound like a caring,wonderful person,and my heart absolutely breaks in half for him.Poor soul.God bless you for looking after him.