STARKISS Posted June 1, 2010 Report Share Posted June 1, 2010 Hi All, I want my mom back so bad, I miss her all the time... I need to feel her hugs and I need to hear her tell me things will be okay... I am all alone with in this crazy family of mine and I do not know what to do... I miss you mom Shelley Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
niamh Posted June 1, 2010 Report Share Posted June 1, 2010 aw I'm so sorry Shelley, your post is such a strong reminder to me that missing one of our parents just stays with us forever and ever. It's just that security of a hug alright, them telling us everything will be ok as you say. I've never ever known a loneliness like this. one day,one hour, one minute at a time, I know it's all I can do. If I think of all the time ahead without my Dad, I crumble because I simply cannot cope with it. we will see them again one day, WE JUST HAVE TO. hugs, love and comfort to you Shelley niamh Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
loulou Posted June 1, 2010 Report Share Posted June 1, 2010 Shelly,your simple,honest post,made me cry even harded today.My 5 months of the loss of my dad is today,and my heart is so sad.I want him back.I want him to hug me,and make me laugh,like he always did.I'm heartbroken still.I'm so sorry for you missin your mama.Hopefully they are hugging us,and we just dont know it.I'm alone,too,as no one misses or talks of him....I miss you dad,so,so very much,I love you... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
STARKISS Posted June 1, 2010 Author Report Share Posted June 1, 2010 Thanks Niamh and Loulou, for your replies, I just miss my mom so very much... She has been gone from me five years and two months... My dad's death anniversary happens in August and his birthday would have been in five days... So there is so much emotion around me right now... Shelley Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
STARKISS Posted June 2, 2010 Author Report Share Posted June 2, 2010 Hi All, Here I am again, I am having a really rough time right now... I am really missing my mom, I am crying so much right now and just need to see her so very badly... I am feeling like she is the only one who will understand what I am going through... I need to here her voice to say things will be all right... I feel so alone and unloved right now, I know people here say I am loved and cared about but in my life as it is near me I can not say that... Shelley Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
niamh Posted June 2, 2010 Report Share Posted June 2, 2010 aw Shelley, I read your words and I feel the loneliness, I find it the hardest part, feeling so lost and lonely without them.No matter who I am around it never takes away that ache or longing, nobody is good enough except the one person we want here that we can't have. I hope when you wake today that you will have some bit of relief from the intensity of it. huge hugs and comfort to you, I wish your Mom would just pay a visit in a dream or something so you'd know she's still with you, just like I wish too. niamh Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
STARKISS Posted June 3, 2010 Author Report Share Posted June 3, 2010 Hi Niamh, Thanks for all your kindness, yes my grief journey has been an extremely lonely one but that is just the way it is... I miss my mom so much and now I think I am starting to forgive my dad a little because I find I am starting to even miss him a little... Shelley Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
2sweetgirls Posted June 3, 2010 Report Share Posted June 3, 2010 Shelley, I wish I could just give you a great big hug. Here's the best I can do ((((((((( ))))))))). I miss my mom, too, deeply. I have pictures of her all over the house, with me, my children, etc. At first, I would cry, even howl, when I saw them. Now I feel blessed to have had 39 years with such a wonderful person that loved me so much. Do I wish I could call her, hear her, kiss her? MORE THAN ANYTHING!!!! I feel for you because it's hard to focus when you are having other issues going on. I hope that your mom comes to you in a dream to comfort you. You know that if she could, she would. Take care and peace to you . 2sweetgirls Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
STARKISS Posted June 3, 2010 Author Report Share Posted June 3, 2010 Hi 2sweetgirls, Thanks for replying and for all your kindness, but really when you have your mother it is so very sweet and you never take her for granted until one day and you wake up and want her so very bad and she is gone and she can not come back... Shelley Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
benpm Posted June 3, 2010 Report Share Posted June 3, 2010 Shelley, Hang in there. You are blessed to be able to cry. Keep crying to you feel you can't anymore, and cry some more. I wish I could be there to let you cry on my shoulder, and give me a comfort to do the same. Makes me miss my cousin who one drunken night, we caught up on all the deaths in the family and what went on with each other. We cried for hours. I miss that cousin of mine. I hope you have or find someone like that. Someone that you can open up to. benpm Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
STARKISS Posted June 3, 2010 Author Report Share Posted June 3, 2010 Thanks Benpm. I am definitely trying to hang in there, but some days are just rough... Shelley Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
niamh Posted June 4, 2010 Report Share Posted June 4, 2010 hi Shelley, I know you are having such a hard time but I am glad to hear you think you are starting to forgive your Dad a little, baby steps hun, the very fact that you want to I think is a HUGE anyways. I know it won't magically take away any pain from grief but hopefully can bring you some peace around what happened to you. I hope you are so proud of yourself for being able to walk this road of forgiveness, it takes a special person. hugs, love and peace dear friend ! niamh xo Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
STARKISS Posted June 4, 2010 Author Report Share Posted June 4, 2010 Hi Niamh, Thanks for the reply and yes I have started with the help of two great therapists who I had to say good bye to at the end of June... Shelley Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EllenB Posted June 6, 2010 Report Share Posted June 6, 2010 Hi, I just joined this forum. I so understand where you are coming from. My mom passed on May 18. It is still fresh and new and it still has not impacted me yet. However, I lost my dad in 2001 and it hurt oh so bad and does to this day but time, only time will make it better. Your mother lives inside of you. Her memory, your stories together, you personality are all parts of her. I know that the need is dire and something that you want to touch, but you can't. You have to close your eyes and remember the times you were together. Do what I do. I have a big picture of my dad; I talk to that picture out loud. There are times that I actually scream at it because I am so angry that he left me. But this is a process and time does heal. I am sure I am not the first to tell you this, but it sure is the truth. Just take it one day at a time. Do you have children? Ellen Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
STARKISS Posted June 6, 2010 Author Report Share Posted June 6, 2010 Hi EllenB, Thank you for your reply and I think I will try that with the picture... No I do not have kids but some days I wish I did... Shelley Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lorikelly Posted June 16, 2010 Report Share Posted June 16, 2010 Shelley I have not posted in a long time but I really understand about missing your mom. My mom will be gone 4 yrs on July 3rd and i still say i can't beieve it has been this long since i have her face, kissed her or heard her voice. I go to sleep at night and put thoughts of her in my head so i can dream of her. Some days the pain feels like it just happened and then other day i can walk this journey and feel ok. I think the missing never goes away we love them so much and for so long that it would be impossible for us to forget. Take a day at a time, each day will bring a little more healing to your heart. Lori Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
STARKISS Posted June 17, 2010 Author Report Share Posted June 17, 2010 Hi Lorikelly, You can honestly feel the way I do, I hear it in your post... I also try to picture my mom in my head and I still say good night to her every night before I go to sleep... Shelley Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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