I Just Want To Scream

[Abby48]

i get so upset when i see couples in the store,they are holding hands

or deep in conversation & no one knows my life is missing part of my soul.

i just want to scream look at me this is how it looks when your heart has a big hole in it

because the person you shared everything with has died.everyone's life goes on just as before,why can't mine ?

i didn't ask for the overwhelming heartache,i didn't want my danny to leave me.

will i ever smile again or have a passion for life ?

sorry i just had to vent,i wish i felt better but it didn't help.

[Lainey]

Dear Abby,

Oh Abby you are breaking my heart, you sound so sad and alone I wish I could reach out to you and hug you. It seems like your life is over to you. Trust me and the rest of the group that says it gets better because it really does.

I still get jealous of couples holding hands, eating a meal together, laughing at a joke.. all the things I used to do with Lars. It has been almost seven months for me and there are times I actually feel hatred towards another woman who looks happy. It is getting easier.

Will you ever smile or have a passion for life? You will smile again,you will laugh again, and you will have a passion for life. The passion may feel different but as your heart begins to heal, life begins to look better.

Take care of yourself, indulge in little pleasures that make you feel a bit better. Take one day at a time, if that's too hard, take one hour at a time.

All of us on this site have been exactly in the same place you are right now . We know how you feel and I for one will be thinking about you.

Hugs to you,

Lainey

[redwind30]

Abby, I know exactly how you feel. I wish I had some words of wisdom or hope to offer to you. But, I don't even have the words for myself. When I am out running errands and someone says "have a good day" my first thought is; "Cant you see this huge hole in my heart". Obviously strangers don't have any idea what I am feeling. I too look at others who are walking hand in hand, or I see a man put his arm around a lady and my heart breaks. I get so jealous. I don't understand why I had to lose my precious husband. It feels like the ache will never go away. I miss him so much on a daily basis.

Take Care,

Redwind

[closs86]

Hi Abby,

I also know what you are feeling, it is hard to watch other couples, because our other half is not with us anymore, I am so sorry for your loss, for all our losses, it is just so unfair

Take care

Karen

[Cheryl]

Oh Abby, boy can I relate. At christmas I freaked in the mall. All these couples and happy family's xmas shopping. It was my first trip out of the house other than the grocery store or my in laws house. My two kids didn't know what to do with me. I just sat on a couch with people rushing by bawling. All I could think about was our annual trip to the mall. We'd start out shopping and within an hour my husband would suggest lunch and a cold beer.

Couples suck! What is worse are the stupid couples who don't even like each other. They really piss you off! Hang in ther Abby. Remembering and feeling the loss is part of the healing. You are doing great. You are normal and we all have felt your pain. The more you face all these emotions the better you will feel in time. At least that is what has helped me.

Big Hug! Cheryl

[alone27]

Abbey - boy do I understand your feeling! I sometimes walk along muttering under my breath when I see a couple together 'why is he alive?' 'why didn't he go instead of my Joel?'....how awful is that?? There are times without warning, I literally lose it - can't keep myself together - just wondering how this could possibly be and why the Universe played such an evil trick on my husband - the most positive, well-meaning guy around. We were in the midst of celebrating our good fortune - terrific medical reports.....and then out of nowhere....over. It's been almost 4 months and I am unbelievably angry - and angry at people I don't even know! I share your pain and can't seem to move past it..

My thoughts are with you

[Abby48]

thank you all,i hoped i wasn't the only one feeling this way.

my sister has a loveless marriage,always talking about what a looser he is.

i think to myself why did i loose the one person in my life that gave me sunshine everyday & she still has her husband.

i too get so upset when i think about how my loving husband was taken from me & the most caring & giving person i knew.

i look around at all the men in prison who have have commited murder,rape etc & they are still here.

why would God take him from me,i know there was no cure for danny's cancer but why did he have to have cancer in the first place.

there are so many things i miss sharing with danny,i agree it's just not fair.

i have a hard time not setting his plate at the table or going to bed alone which is the worst.

we shared so much together everyday,now it's such an effort to start my day without him.

it's so nice having this site to come to,i can type how i'm feeling

and know someone here knows my same feelings & have felt this

overwhelming loss.

big hugs

[Korina]

Abbey - I have always had those feelings, too. And I the the worst at first was seeing fathers with their babies, or parents with their kids. How they will never get the chance to have Kailyn run into his arms, squealing, "Daddy! Daddy!" It still hurts...

Korina