Jennalee Posted August 31, 2010 Report Share Posted August 31, 2010 I feel so guilty for even thinking about this but suspect y'all will understand. I lost Ajay only nine days ago and ever since his death I've been obsessing about re-marriage. He was Indian and his best friend from out of state (who is also Indian) flew over to be with me during all the funeral planning and preparation. His best friend was almost as good looking as Ajay was and had the same dark skin, jet black hair, deep brown eyes and cute accent. All I could think about is how much I wanted to marry him right this very second. I guess I figure if I find someone else right away, I won't be lonely and the pain will be less. I know this is flawed in all sorts of ways. I feel so guilty for even daring to think about other guys with Ajay's death being so very recent, but I just HATE BEING ALONE!!! We didn't have any children so the walls just echo. I almost don't care who it is, just long as he looks similar to Ajay, has the same accent as Ajay and is as wonderful as Ajay. Is this normal or am I just a horrible person? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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